Pregnant teen

[Allthestrawberries]

Hi all

Long time poster but have name changed for this. Need a hand hold please.. my 16year old son's girlfriend is pregnant, found out today. They are both in agreement that they don't want to continue with the pregnancy. I don't know how to feel, I don't know what to think or what I can do. I've come home from work and am just sat on the sofa in shock.
Any advice? Anyone been through this?
She has GP appointment tomorrow.

It's great they've told you about it.

Be there when they need to talk about it otherwise I wouldn't bring it up.

Have they been together long? Tell him how to support her, and that you will be a source of support for him - they're both going through it but its happening in her body and she will need him to be her rock, but he must process his emotions too.

If she contacts BPAS they'll be able to do a scan and advise on options.

Her mum has an appointment booked for 10 days time. Might be too late by them but no one seems to understand the urgency. She just wants to do what her mum says and my son can't do much else other than support this. She has a definite bump and I'll be surprised if she's less than 20 weeks. I feel so helpless. I have offered to pay for private scan, offered to take her to gp but her mum wants to wait for this appt at abortion clinic in 10 days. I feel like I'm losing my mind with worry. I know if they want an abortion it is going to be cutting it fine and 10 days could matter.

That's awful Op.

@Allthestrawberries

Her mum has an appointment booked for 10 days time. Might be too late by them but no one seems to understand the urgency. She just wants to do what her mum says and my son can't do much else other than support this. She has a definite bump and I'll be surprised if she's less than 20 weeks. I feel so helpless. I have offered to pay for private scan, offered to take her to gp but her mum wants to wait for this appt at abortion clinic in 10 days. I feel like I'm losing my mind with worry. I know if they want an abortion it is going to be cutting it fine and 10 days could matter.

All you can do without overstepping the mark is kindly and sensitively make sure that she is aware of that fact.

It could very well be that subconsciously she wants it to be too late . You have to factor that in as a possibility.

As long as she’s armed with all the facts then she can make her decision x

What a strange decision from her mum!

Just support your DS. Maybe suggest to him to talk to her and say that he could pay for a private scan.

You can’t override the GF’s parents, but she might listen to your DS, possibly.

My concern would be she either wants to have an abortion but it will be too late OR she doesn’t want to and is stalling

It has to be her decision but there seem to be a lot of other people involved her dp and both mums and it could potentially lead to confusion. It’s very difficult

@AdoraBell

Just support your DS. Maybe suggest to him to talk to her and say that he could pay for a private scan.

You can’t override the GF’s parents, but she might listen to your DS, possibly.

Overriding parents , on either side should not be an issue or a consideration.

It needs to be the decision of one person only and is her voice being heard 😞 it seems over complicated. Someone needs to kindly but clearly get an appt today and get her view and help her get her voice across either way and access the correct treatment or tests

I discovered I was pregnant at 16, from a feel of my tummy they determined I was quite far along and I was referred for a scan the next day. Which confirmed I was 27 weeks pregnant, barely a bump. So of course I had no options. Definitely get a scan ASAP, it's not just about how far a long but also the health of your son's GF to check everything is ok.

But I now have an amazing 15 year old DD.

it's hard being on the male party's side I am sure as there is a feeling of less control or being able to influence.

Just support them both as best you can, I feel for you it's very difficult.