Does my will sound fair/reasonable to you?

[SafeMove]

I can't work out if I am being fair/reasonable or not. I think I am but my mum said I have been a bit mercenary towards DP so I am second guessing myself.

Background: Been with DP 4 years. Just bought our first house together. I put in 20k more equity than he did so we arranged tenants in common 60/40 in my favour and he is paying £100 more towards the mortgage for the first year or two, he earns more, he suggested it. Both got life insurance that will pay off mortgage if either of us dies before mortgage expires.

I have 3DC from a previous marriage. DP has no DC and doesn't plan any. No plans to marry (been there, was a disaster, ended up with a broken jaw and skull, I don't have another divorce in me tbh emotionally or financially). In my will I have stated that the 60% of my property goes to my DC, any death in service benefit from work (NHS) to them and the additional lump sum life policy to DC, all split equally. DD gets my engagement and wedding ring her arsehole dad gave me. The residuary of my estate goes to DP - which I am assuming will be my pension, any savings I acquire in next few years (we currently only have 3k savings as moving wiped us out) and furniture maybe? I don't have many expensive material things, the engagement ring is the highest value. I have put a 'Right of occupation trust' in my will so that if I die before DP he has a right to live there up until he sells his share or marries another person or is placed in a care institution or dies.

Does this sound fair to my DC/DP? DP hasn't done his will yet, but I am going to insist he puts in a life interest or right of occupation property trust in case he dies first. Would you feel this will is unfair if you were in DP's shoes?

I think your children come first.

@Charley50 that was my point to my mum. There is no way my DC won't get their inheritance this way. If I let it stand as joint tenants or leave more to DP, I die, he meets another woman and moves her in and marries her my DC would be left with nothing. Potentially her DC would get my DC's inheritance!

I think your will is fair and sensible

[quote SafeMove]@Charley50 that was my point to my mum. There is no way my DC won't get their inheritance this way. If I let it stand as joint tenants or leave more to DP, I die, he meets another woman and moves her in and marries her my DC would be left with nothing. Potentially her DC would get my DC's inheritance![/quote]
Exactly. There are so many sad stories of children who get disinherited by a parent's partner. It's your money, you give it to your kids. I'm sure your partner will understand.

Sounds fine. It’s nothing to do with your mum and hopefully she won’t be around when you die.

What does DP think?

I haven't discussed it with DP as it was just finalised today but I am going to let him read it. I had already told him what I was going to do with the house, and he was fine with it.

That's a fair & sensible will.

Makes perfect sense to me. He won't have to leave his home if you die first but you're making sure your kids inherit. Does your mum really think he should be prioritised above her grandchildren?

It seems fair, but (and apologies if I missed it) shouldn’t your DP have a life interest in your property if you want him to grant you one?

@Skiptheheartsandflowers - My parents have very old fashioned views, especially re socially contructed gender roles. I think my mum is a bit of a male apologist at times. Drives me nuts. They were telling me to marry him the other day. When I pointed out that it would potentially scrap the inheritance of their DGC they said 'Well they will be inheriting a lot from their dad.' Which is true for DS2 and DD but not for DS1 (different fathers). And missing the point that I worked my arse off to get my own house and finances straight after being shafted in my divorce!

@RestingPandaFace - I think its different because if I die first, whilst he will have the right to live there, if he meets someone else or sells up, my DC are the only ones waiting for an inheritance. Whereas, if he dies first, there is nobody waiting on that inheritance IYSWIM. And I kind of think, I gave up sole ownership to be able to buy with him, whereas he was renting. So why should I be worse off and he be better off? But I am prepared to be told I am heing unreasonable there if he brings it up and will accept a right of occupation trust if he insists.

Honestly OP I was expecting to read something crazy based on the title of the thread but it seems totally fair and reasonable. Can’t believe your Mum would take any issue with it.