How can I support my friend?

[DukeofEarlGrey]

I learned tonight that one of my closest friends has just been diagnosed with ‘incurable’ cancer. I won’t go into any more detail on the off-chance that it’s outing for her, but from what I can understand it is treatable but not curable and the aim will be to support her to live with it for an unspecified period of time.

I’m devastated and have spent the evening in tears, though not to her of course. I hope it will emerge that more can be done for her. In the meantime she will be starting chemotherapy and immunotherapy. I’ve had others close to me go through both so have a good idea of what’s entailed.

Please can anyone share ideas on how to support her, what I can do to help keep her spirits up and how to act over the coming weeks and months? She is quite far away so visiting can only be occasional if she wants it. She has a toddler and partner with her and family close by. I know she wants help with staying positive and calm, both of which I’m usually good at. I’m just so upset tonight, I can’t sleep for thinking about it.

I'm in the same position as you are, with a male friend. We've had a few months to get used to the news.

So far we check in on him frequently, people need enough to him pop round to make food and keep him company and raise his spirits, we just listen when he says how he feels or if he wants to do something.

It's been a real rollercoaster for him. He's been through some denial, acceptance, the trying a special diet etc, we just remind him we are here to help him try whatever he feels he needs to. We give him the space to be able to talk or cry.

@SisterMonicaJoansHabit thank you, I appreciate this