My friend won't accept that I can't drink as much as her, on a night out!

[Wisteriabloom]

I love a drink as much as anyone, but if I go over my 'limit' I suffer from a horrendous hangover next day! For context, I can manage half a bottle of wine/prosecco, or 3 at the most cocktails, g & t's or ciders. I can't mix drinks without suffering next day, either!

I was at my friend's on Friday, together with 2 others. We take turns hosting every few months. I almost said no to Friday (knew I was working next day) but it was the only evening we could all make so I thought I'd go along but not drink much.

The prosecco came out - I had 2 (large) glasses with the others but said no to g & t's afterwards, opting to stick with tonic & ice.

My friend wasn't having it though - 'Oh you must have SOMETHING else - Would you prefer more prosecco/I've got Pimms/pink gin etc'! I said again I was fine on the tonic, needed to leave for work by 8.30 next morning and much as I like all those drinks, couldn't risk a hangover! To appease her (she still wasn't taking no for an answer), I let her add gin to my tonic (she made it far stronger than I would have)!

Despite drinking water before bed that night, i woke on Saturday feeling horrendous!🤮 Took paracetamol but it didn't touch my banging headache until about lunchtime when I started to feel slightly better. I work at a weekend activity scheme for vulnerable adults (it's quite full-on - I couldn't call in sick as there was nobody to cover me and would have had to let a family down, it's one adult per carer). I got through the 6 hour shift (just, but sensed a few eye-rolls from my colleague as I wasn't particularly with it!)😳

Last time we all met up I hosted, and when I served up their last g & t's (getting on for midnight) i switched to soft drinks (as did my neighbour as she had a lot on the next day). My friend accused us of being 'party-poopers'! Actually she always looks annoyed if I switch to a soft drink out, when she has her last cocktail! She says she doesn't get hangovers, and can't seem to understand that I do!

I don't want her to see me as boring/no fun to go out with - I love a night out, I love a few drinks, but can't keep up her pace!!

I'd be interested to hear from anyone else whose idea of 'meeting up for drinks' is way different to their friends'!

Sounds to me like she has an issue with alcohol.

Dont let her force you to drink more. Firm up your boundaries. If she insists out it back on her. Why do you need me to drink, hun?

@Janaih

This is exactly me and my friends. I like to call myself three-total. I don't see them very often. I don't know how their livers cope!

Three-total

That’s me too these days tbh, if I go a millimetre over 3 glasses I’m in bed sick as a dog the next day. My friends wouldn’t make me try though tbf.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm - Not preachy at all! Thank you for your input, and well done for taking control of your drinking! Yes, if I were someone who drank a lot, it wouldn't bother me at all if, for instance a friend opted for diet coke while I had wine. That's why i find it hard to understand people who are bothered by it!

To the poster who asked why I drank the g&t, I really don't know🤔 Felt pressured in front of people, I suppose. I've used various tactics before to disguise the fact I'm not drinking in groups of people, ie, tipping wine away, pouring brandy into coffee and leaving the coffee etc, but it's when there's no place to do it discreetly I panic! I won't again though, this hangover was so horrendous I'll definitely stick to my guns next time, even if I offend!!

I used to have a friend who would bring her mate with her on nights out/girls nights in
Both drank like fishes but I dont-its a strange year if I have 3/4 drinks in that time
They used to nag and whine at me to 'just have another one' even tho I didn't want to
It all came to a head a few years ago on a night out
I had to be up early to get the kids to school/me to college so I said I'd stick to soft drinks
Oddly I started to feel sick and lightheaded so made my excuses and went home
I woke up with the headache from hell-i got the kids to school and went home-missing an exam (I did retake it the following week,but not the point)
I could bearly lift my head from my pillow-its a miracle i got the kids to school
It turned out they had been adding vodka to my drinks and for some reason I hadn't noticed-maybe as I didn't think friends would do that to me-all my other mates would have repected my choices
They thought it was really funny-i didn't and quietly dropped them
I heard years later that I was the unreasonable one...
They where shifting their issues with booze onto me-by me not drinking it made them uncomfortable

@Mumtotoomanykids that's awful!! how did you find out they had added alcohol?! you could have drove or anything! sounds like you are well rid.

Mumtotoomanykids - What horrible behaviour😲 You're well rid of them!!

To be this is the sort of things friends might do when we were all in our 20s though to be fair we could all deal with hangovers so there was no “punishment”

No we’re in our late 30s most don’t drink of an evening, someone is normally driving, someone has to be up the next day, someone is pregnant, someone just doesn’t fancy it