Calling in sick with anxiety?

[TodClarty]

Work is creating lots of anxiety for me

I'm struggling to sleep
I wake and immediately think of a work issue
Today I cried on opening my emails
I'm irritable and getting headaches
I'm not doing my finest parenting cos I no longer like who I am

I'm at home so nobody can see this affecting me. Im a lone parent. My manager is the main source of the issue. I talked to him about workload and the pressure I feel under - he told me to buckle up cos it was going to get busier.

So...

What do I do?

We don't have HR. We have a small leadership team who will rally around my manager.

I'm tempted to call in sick tomorrow, state stress as the reason, explain the above to the doctor. Would that result in a sick note?

Or is it best to call in sick and not self diagnose. Say feeling unwell with headaches? Give it a couple of days then think about whether I need a doctor.

In case you think I'm workshy, I've not been ill for 7 years. I just need people to know I'm struggling and for them to do something about it.

I got signed off when I was in a similar state ,I was pregnant though so it was easier to dismiss my stress as hormonal.
The work was still there when I returned so it didn't help and I ended up signed out again.

If you need them to take action I think you need to be honest. If you just need a break and think clearing your head will do the trick then have a headache and stay home.

Call in with unwell headache and then see a doctor.

Think about options:

• if workload stays the same would you start job hunting / leave
• can you talk with leadership team and say it isn't sustainable and you need xyz help. Think about what parts of the job could be handed on easily
• what would happen if you just did less - they can't sack you on the spot after 7 years
• how 'indispensable' are you (can other people do your job right now)

Once you have seen doctor you can say that Dr says it is work tress / overload etc.

People don't always make the best decisions when they are stressed and anxious, perhaps call in sick with vague details to buy your self time to consider your next steps. A break really does help, even though at the time it can feel like it won't. Crying at the thought of going in to work is indicative of needing a break at the very least.

Thank you.

I am job hunting but I have childcare responsibilities so it's hard to find part time hours. Or if I see full time jobs that suit the money isnt enough to afford the childcare. I feel trapped.

Meanwhile my dickhead ex has moved down south and doesnt have to factor in school runs etc to his career options. Yes I am also bitter!

If your job is currently full time, would you consider part time? So if there isn't workload enough for 2 full timers, could it be you half time and a new recruit?

Or if you are currently part time, then another part time and you aim to cover each other's sickness/holiday wherever possible?

(I'm trying to look at solutions you could 'sell' to the company, rather than just saying I'm stressed as overloaded.)

Feeling trapped never helps, and can make everything feel worse. Vicious circle. I know easier said than done, but try to build some nice things into your life to balance the stress. Taking a break from work sounds like a sensible option, either as sick leave or holiday. Try not make any big decisions until you're feeling stronger.

We definitely need more staff. I suggested my part time role become a full time job share to help spread the load but they said no.

@TeenMinusTests

Call in with unwell headache and then see a doctor.

Think about options:

• if workload stays the same would you start job hunting / leave
• can you talk with leadership team and say it isn't sustainable and you need xyz help. Think about what parts of the job could be handed on easily
• what would happen if you just did less - they can't sack you on the spot after 7 years
• how 'indispensable' are you (can other people do your job right now)

Thinking about what would happen if I did less has made me think.

I can keep a log of what I'm achieving so that when they put pressure on me I have evidence that I'm working my arse off.

A big part of the pressure is that there's always something else to do. So I finish x, send it to manager, "what about y?"...and repeat for eternity. I'm on a hamster wheel.

I’d call in sick - like pp says you can blame the headache. You can self-certify for the first 7 days which gives you chance to speak to your GP if you need more time off/consider if medication might help/maybe get referred for counselling? It does sound like you’d be better off in another job but I know it’s easier said than done.

If you are planning to stay at work I would suggest some strategies:

Keep a simple log of each piece of work you do and the time taken. This can be forwarded to you manager along with details of any tasks you haven't completed

When your manager asks for x or y to be done, ask him which of a,b,c,d that you have planned that he wants you to postpone/not do. Leave it for him to decide

Lastly, look for a new job - life is too short!

I suggested my part time role become a full time job share to help spread the load but they said no.

I so often hear of women finally leaving a job at the end of their tether.. only to later hear that the company hired 2 people to replace them, usually on a higher salary. Basically, whilst you're being a super-hero to get the work done, they have no incentive to pay more to get someone else.

So... it's their choice whether to hire more staff... And it's your choice whether to accept responsibility for an unachievable volume of work.

A good technique is to keep asking your manager the priority order for your tasks. And tell her if you aren't going to have time to complete something - early enough for her to either give it to someone else or re-prioritise it over your current task (but then of course your current task will be delayed.)

Whenever there's a conflict, keep asking for priorities. Not apologetic, just factual and professional.

It isn't your responsibility to have infinite capacity, or to do everything that needs doing.

Your responsibility is to be clear about what you can do, and give your manager enough information to prioritise your work, and do the work you do have capacity for well. That's it.

You could try this approach:

Manager: OP I want you to do this

You: ok, here's my plan. If I do XYZ will that completely meet your expectations or can you provide more guidance on what will please?

Lots of managers are not good at managing. They expect staff to divine a response they might want. When it isn't time is wasted and tension grows.

I sometimes need to manage my manager in a way that makes it look like they're in charge, but is actually offering several options they can pick from.

Managers should delegate but not abdicate accountability.

I like these ideas thanks.

Although if anything he is too prescriptive. I know my job and can do it really well, but with him he micro manages so he ends up sending me a huge to do list rather than an objective to fulfil. I'm fairly senior so dont need that level of detail, it's not helpful and steps on my toes and limits what I can achieve. Also zero job satisfaction in having someone dictate daily tasks like that.

Maybe don’t send project “y” as soon as it’s done? Slow down a bit and see what happens?