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Original poster

What was your second maternity leave like?

16 replies

bluegreendragon · 05/07/2021 19:51

Feeling a bit sad at returning to work and thinking about second maternity leave already.

What is the second like? I can’t imagine it being as magical … but maybe it is?

OP posts:
UpSlyDown · 05/07/2021 19:53

Horrendous as mine was in covid. Generally though less stressful as you feel more confident, less baby focussed as your oldest still takes up most of your time/headspace, less worry about attending baby groups and often established ‘mum friends’ to hang about with. I have enjoyed the baby stage with DC2 more (other than covid waaah).

UpSlyDown · 05/07/2021 19:54

Our second has utterly completed our family and DC1 loves them more than life so I’d definitely recommend 2 though 💕

Original poster
bluegreendragon · 05/07/2021 19:54

Yeah covid is a reason I want to do it again … feel a bit cheated out of some stuff.

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Families
Figgygal · 05/07/2021 19:56

I was off just as ds 1 started school
Was perfect as could support him in his first year at school whilst having 1 on 1 time with baby
In some ways it was better than first time round actually as had a routine and no social isolation

Greenmarmalade · 05/07/2021 19:57

I have never found maternity leave to be magical. I’m genuinely glad you did!

GrandPrismatic · 05/07/2021 19:58

Brilliant…especially as DC1 was in Nursery 3 days a week! I started mat leave 2 something like 11 weeks before due date which was the earliest technically possible! In many ways it is hard …managing demanding toddler with a newborn but you find your own routines and manage through. Having them so close in age is paying dividends now as they are little playmates. I hated going back to work after DC1…I went back after 7 months. DC2 I took the full 52 weeks and then some Grin

Screamingcowboy99 · 05/07/2021 20:00

My first maternity leave was absolutely fucking shit. And this was 8 years ago, so no covid. Just PND, recovery from a shit birth and a grumpy baby who screamed all day everyday. Then when he finally did stop screaming I went back to work at six months.

My second maternity was so much better. I was home all day with my eldest, who was a delightful toddler and my youngest who, unsurprisingly, was an easier baby. I was anxious, but it was when I actually started really enjoying being a mum. We had lots of lovely days out, playing etc.

I had a two year age gap. It is hard. I was exhausted. But I'd recommend it.

Poppins2016 · 05/07/2021 20:03

I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy with my second baby and got talking to a colleague about exactly this topic the other day... She said that she enjoyed her second maternity leave more than her first because she was less stressed (knew what to expect) and she felt less lonely/isolated (already had "mum friends", knew the baby groups she liked, and her first child was a chatty little companion which made a huge difference compared to having one small baby who can't talk).

Original poster
bluegreendragon · 05/07/2021 20:05

This is really encouraging, thanks. It definitely took me a while to enjoy it but now I love it and I’m really sad it’s drawing to a close Sad

OP posts:
hauntedvagina · 05/07/2021 20:09

Second mat leave was amazing, my eldest was at school so we had a routine to follow. I never felt low on adult conversation as there was always someone to chat to at the gates on the school run and quite often someone would end up coming back to mine for a cuppa.

I returned back to work much earlier the second time round, albeit on very reduced hours. This made a huge difference to my mental health as I hadn't spent months dreading the return (I took over a year off the first time) and got back into the swing of things really quickly.

Bobbots · 05/07/2021 20:13

Magical?!
Second mat leave is harder because I actually have to try and get shit done during the day because the older one needs feeding, clothing etc. Whereas the first time round I could get away with sitting on my arse all day as DH could fend for himself and it didn’t matter so much if I was behind on washing and chores.
However it is also easier because I’m not so stressed and have the benefit of hindsight and a bit more perspective. With DC1 I worried about everything and now I’m more laid back.

Poppins2016 · 05/07/2021 20:14

@bluegreendragon

This is really encouraging, thanks. It definitely took me a while to enjoy it but now I love it and I’m really sad it’s drawing to a close Sad
I was incredibly sad when my first maternity leave ended and I cried during my first day back at work (several times)! However, in hindsight, I can see that it was actually like the beginning of the next chapter, which was just as good (and magical)! Having a toddler/small child is amazing and I actually feel as though I'm falling in love with him even more now that I'm getting to know him as a little person. Nursery doesn't detract from that for us - it enhances - it's lovely hearing about what he's learnt and who he's played with. I also feel as though we get better 'quality time' together (I find that being the sole carer day in day out can feel a bit draining, whereas getting to do something different by working recharges the batteries).
Original poster
bluegreendragon · 05/07/2021 20:16

That’s lovely poppin, you sound like an incredible mum!

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 05/07/2021 20:29

@bluegreendragon

That’s lovely poppin, you sound like an incredible mum!
Haha, thank you, that's sweet of you to say!

I must point out, for balance, that there are also non-medical days that I feel exhausted, my buttons have been pushed (by a boundary pushing terrible two year old Grin) and want a break, it's not all roses and rainbows! However I really just wanted to highlight that the end of maternity leave only seems huge and sad because it's a you've ever known with your baby. There's so much still to discover and enjoy, a new kind of magic! But I get that I can only say this and offer my reassurance with the benefit of hindsight and that regardless, maternity leave coming to an end is a milestone! Flowers

Poppins2016 · 05/07/2021 20:29

Ha. Non-medical = non-magical! Grin

Poppins2016 · 05/07/2021 20:30

And it should say "all you've ever known"... this is karma for getting distracted at bed time ConfusedGrin

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