Self isolating and really important events

[Backhills]

I know this is nonsense and I'm creating something to worry about, but at the same time, it's a real concern.

We lost DH a few days ago and are currently arranging the funeral, likely to be about 3 weeks' time.

All around me, people are getting messages to self isolate. Colleagues, family, friends, friends' children. There seems to have been a huge explosion in numbers here, all the local schools have some bubbles closed and three of my colleagues are currently isolating.

I have an amazing group of friends and family, they're really looking after me, but as a result I'm seeing numerous people a day. DCs are also seeing lots of friends for support and are likely to be back at work before the funeral.

What on earth do we do if one of us gets notice to isolate before the funeral? Do I need to shut us all away beforehand? That seems like a really bad idea for everything except avoiding contacts... We've all been vaccinated (DC only once) but that won't stop us having to isolate because a contact.

If you did get such a notice ahead of a close relative's funeral, would you comply or still go? Surely you can't have a funeral without the deceased's wife, although maybe that hasn't been unusual during these times? Not so long ago I'd have said the was no way anyone could ban me from seeing my dying husband in hospital. What's reasonable doesn't seem to apply anymore.

Honestly? In your shoes I would turn off contact tracing on the app and get your DC to as well.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Oh yes, contact tracing was turned off long ago, but that doesn't stop us being named as a contact by one of the many visitors or by colleagues at work.

So sorry for your loss. As a first step, make sure you delete the app so your only notifications will be from actual T&T rather than the app pinging because of your neighbour testing positive etc. Of course you all need your friends and family around you, but are there ways to minimise your risk, not only of self isolating, but also of actually catching covid causing you stress and to potentially miss the funeral, ie, seeing people mostly outside if possible, avoiding those with high risk professions, and only seeing those who are actually supporting you, ie, not inviting the neighbours in?

Oh I see. I’d still be going to the funeral - would do an LFT first and a PCR if time allowed but would still go assuming negative. Hopefully in a couple of weeks all these isolation rules will be changing anyway. I cannot believe anyone would expect you to miss your own husband’s funeral in such circumstances.

You are allowed to break self isolation to attend a funeral of a close relative. It’s not well publicised and you’re encouraged not to but it’s not against the law to go.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic#self-isolate

Sorry for your loss.

Well that's an excellent answer, thank you PurpleDaisies.

On a similar note, my parents are due to attend my Dad's brother's funeral next week and have had to give contact details for test and trace. They are really worried and considering not going, in case it means they can't be at DH's funeral. It doesn't look like they'd be considered close relatives though.

Delete the app and don't answer calls from unknown numbers?! 🙈