Trying for second baby at 40?

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Hi, iam wondering if anyone has any advice to help me or may have bn in a similar situation.

I had my daughter at 35 and she was born very early, not caused by a serious issue, doctor said could have happened to anyone. I'd always wanted 2 children. As a result of being a preemie she was very unwell with a bad chest herself/bad ears and didnt sleep at all for just over 3 years at least, in and out of hospital. I went back to work full time after a year and if honest I thought I would never feel like I could do it again. My other half has always been happy with one but would have had another if I'd wanted. Lockdown has not helped with homeschooling the last year and working at home but when things went back to a bit of normality, I have found things so much easier and my daughter just turned 5 and I find this age so easy now, it's a breeze compared to earlier years. I'm a young 40 if honest (people kp asking me if il have another as do not realise iam 40) I have alot of energy myself and struggle to sit down. Just before I turned 40 I started to feel completely different about having another and ready and we started trying. I wish I'd met my partner earlier obviously as met at 32 and then I definitely would have had another iam sure but that's life. My daughter kps asking for a brother or sister too, its made me question whether she's OK as an only child. I just do not know if 40 is too old? I hear of women who have babies in their 40s and iam sure some of the mums at the school are around 42- 45, alot of the dads definitely are 45-50. If anyone has any advice it would be appreciated.

Well just make sure you're taking your prenatal vitamins in case you have a surprise...

I d have had a third baby at 40 if I could have, and did, but sadly little baby was ectopic and didnt survive.. lots of people have babies in their 40s.. and sure your only 39 and 13 months really😉

I don't think 40 is too late if you'd like a second.

A dd recently had her third at nearly 43 and lots of her friends have had 1st or 2nd at 40 plus. One had her 2nd at 45.

If it’s what you really want, go for it - time is always so precious.

At 40, you're still in the game. I know lots and lots of mothers who have babies in their early 40s. Crack on and good luck. It'd be really lovely to be able to have a sibling for your DD.

I’m 40 and having number 4. If it’s right for your family, go for it. It might take a little longer but not necessarily (I fell pg accidentally!). Good luck x

Going against the grain but personally I wouldnt. My 2nd was born when I was 38. I'm now 47 and feel so old, knackered and full of the joys of peri menopause. The problem isnt having a baby at 40 but still having a young kid at 50.
But maybe it will be different for you? And all said and done, I wouldnt change it, just wish I'd had her when I was younger.
Good luck! Plenty of people do!

I had 2 in my 40s. It seemed my last triggers auto immune conditions so I’m knackered. Wouldn’t be without her though, just wish I had better health and energy

I had my third a couple of weeks after I turned 40, also with a five year gap. If you're in good health and feel young, then don't worry about your actual age - and anyway, 40 isn't old!

I don't feel unusual at all, there have always been plenty of parents on the playground (at more recently, at parents evenings) who look of similar age to us, and I know for a fact that a fair few are older even.

When they're young, your child won't even notice how old you are. And when they're older, all parents are regarded as ancient in any case.

Tbh though, as far as ours are concerned, we are just working parents, we won't even have retired before they all graduate and stand on they own two feet.

I had my second at 41, it was a breeze.

Can I ask you, do you feel that the it was worth it so that you other child had a sibling and has massively impacted their life in a positive way or you think your first child would have been OK if they had of been an only child and it wouldn't have made a difference in the grand scheme now? Alot of people I know had kids 38 and a close friend 39 but think it's the stigma of the age 40 that's worrying me. Also where I have a 5 year old I have only experienced up to this age but not past this with the teenage years, I was always quite gd for my mum growing up but iam not sure what it is like dealing with kids as they get older.

Or things like doing a school run do u feel older or like its different doing it older?

Its so hard to know, I just desperately feel like I'm ready again and want another, mixed with my daughter asking too. I feel like where she is only 5 it's an OK age gap not like I had one at age 20 and then now I'm feeling differently 20 years later as I'd def put that down to me panicking. I just dont want to regret not trying when it's too late if that makes sense x

My very close friend had her first at 39 and is a fantastic mother, as is another who had hers at 40 & 42! Sometimes I struggle to keep up with them both and I'm only 31. If you're fit and healthy, go for it.

My others were 10 and 7 when my last was born. They love her to bits. Of course they clash and fight but they have a really lovely bond as well

Thankyou, it's gd to have peoples views positive and negative. Also do understand the comment about having a baby at 40 but a young child still nearly 50 as it does sound a bit scary and sumin to think about. But I will have a 13 year old anyway by then. We will also be working past 65 too with a mortgage. At 37 I would have felt OK but at 40 I feel too old, strange really as is 3 years going to make a huge difference?