Donating birthday money, is it rude?

[Clara90]

My birthday is coming up and I would like to donate any money I might receive from family members + a donation from myself. I was thinking of the maternity worldwide charity as it breaks my heart to think of mothers in less fortunate countries receiving inadequate care for their beautiful babies.
Now is it rude to donate money and maybe send a card thanking the gifter with details of the charity or should I ask them to offer a donation as a gift?
I guess my reason for not wanting to say before is it could make them feel awkward as it’s a donation and I wouldn’t want them to feel obligated to donate or be rude and assume they are going to be giving me a gift of money in the first place. But I don’t want them to feel I have given away their money either.
From the age of 10/11ish until I was about 16 my present from my parents for Christmas each year was to sponsor a girl in a 3rd world country so she could go to school and I absolutely adored Christmas Day knowing my gift was for her and I would love to start something similar again.
What are your thoughts?

I guess once it's yours you can do with it as you will. I don't tell people what I spend my birthday money on and if you don't either then that's that.

I agree. Just don't tell them what you've spent your money on. Just say thanks and tell them you'll treat yourself/get something you really want (in this case, to support s charity).

I think it's a lovely idea and I don't think there's anything wrong with telling people that you've donated the money, unless they specifically say "here's £20, make sure you treat yourself" because then it'd be rude to donate it

I wouldn’t ask them to donate, but I don’t see anything wrong with donating money once it’s yours. I think I’d just send a general thanks card rather than saying you’d donated the money, as some people might be a little sniffy about it.

I wouldn’t like it. I give money to people for their birthdays very rarely but I’d expect them to spend it on themselves not donate to a charity I might or might not agree with.

What about 50 /50?

It's fine, and besides, they won't know what you've done with it anyway.
Because, obviously, you won't be posting it on social media - because you're donating because you care about the cause, NOT so other people can see what a wonderful and charitable person you are, right?

@Tlollj

I wouldn’t like it. I give money to people for their birthdays very rarely but I’d expect them to spend it on themselves not donate to a charity I might or might not agree with.

Do you attach conditions as to what they are allowed to buy with it? What if you don't agree with their choices of items or shop?

You should give money free of conditions or not at all.

@LindaEllen

It's fine, and besides, they won't know what you've done with it anyway. Because, obviously, you won't be posting it on social media - because you're donating because you care about the cause, NOT so other people can see what a wonderful and charitable person you are, right?

Oh god I wouldn’t be posting it or telling anyone (apart from possibly the gifter). I hated it when I was a kid and my mum would tell family friends about my Christmas present, I didn’t want to do it for praise! I just think I don’t need anything, I have my family and a roof over my head in a country with amazing health care and there are millions born into poverty at no fault of their own and don’t even have basic needs, so I would rather my present go to someone who needs it not for my wants. I think going with just donating and not saying unless they ask?

I think going with just donating and not saying unless they ask?

Just do that.

Thanks for the advice! I will see what I get, match it and donate without saying unless they ask

Why don’t you start a tradition for yourself of every year donating on your birthday, as a gift from yourself.

Then, whether you use your own money or theirs, it happens every year anyway.

You’ll know the people who like it as an idea and those who don’t- people close enough to you to give you money are usually close enough you understand their gift-giving style, in my experience.

The idea is fine.
It becomes virtue signalling if you tell people.