Why is it so hard to lose weight and be fit

[Wishmeluck99]

I usually have to cut out the carbs and do lots of physical activity
Which means finding the time and being relatively stress free
I'm mid 30s, unmarried without children - and can't imagine how much harder it will be to maintain a healthy body when I do have kids, and have very little time and energy for myself
I'm a size 12, but want to be 10, and miss my toned, shaped body. I can get it back, but it's such hard work. I used to go to the gym 3-4 times a week, which I loved, and and had a very low carb diet. I never felt better. I can get back to it again, but why is it sooooo hard.
Not sure what I want to gain from this post, just to vent and hear your stories!

I hear you and raise you 10 years.

Am battling what I thought would never happen to me - the bulge around the middle, a band of hard fat that impacts me daily. I feel it all the time.

Like you, I could hammer the ever use (which I loved) and limit my carbs in order to shed some weight.

Gets even harder when you age. If there was a drug to help me, I'm desperate enough to take it.

I agree with you. It is hard to do. But it's harder when you're older. I'm 54 and have dieted all my life. I look back on photos from when I was early 30s ( and no doubt at some slimming club or other), and there was nothing wrong with me. Yet I was always chasing a number. I regret that now.
I know now I will never follow a 'diet' plan again. I've put on weight these past 18 months, ( probably a stone), but I won't weigh myself as there's no point ( I've never had scales at home and whenever I've weighed myself out n about, the readings vary considerably).
I still find myself saying I'll go on a diet Monday ( old habits die hard), but basically I just try my best to eat healthily, walk a few more miles, drink more water ( and less wine), and find clothes I love that make me feel good.
But, if someone wants to meet up and go for a meal and a few glasses, I'm not going to decline ( I did when I was younger). I'll go, eat, drink and laugh.
If these past 18 months have taught us anything, it's that life really is short, you're only here once, so make the most of it ( I know I'm a lover of clichés, but it's true).
I bet you look great. Also, I focus more on other attributes I have. I'm more than just a number. I'm lovely !

@BlackAlys

I hear you and raise you 10 years.

Am battling what I thought would never happen to me - the bulge around the middle, a band of hard fat that impacts me daily. I feel it all the time.

Like you, I could hammer the ever use (which I loved) and limit my carbs in order to shed some weight.

Gets even harder when you age. If there was a drug to help me, I'm desperate enough to take it.

This!! I lost weight quite easily in my 30's once I started tracking what I was eating and exercising like a demon. I still exercise and even though i watch what I eat most of the time it's like fighting a loosing battle 10 years down the line!! I struggle with lower carb because of the amount of exercise I do.

It's hard because we live somewhere with easy access to hyper palatable, low nutrition foods. No one eats enough protein and you get into a an awful restrict and binge mentality through diet culture (just me?! ) plus spending most of our time sitting working or watching tv etc. Highly recommend listening to the ESG fitness podcasts, it'll change your outlook immensely.

You don't need a low carb diet. I would guess if you have a low carb diet and exercise at that level you are making up the calories elsewhere e.g. alcohol, chocolate. Otherwise you would be exhausted.

Look on it not as getting to an ideal weight but getting to an ideal health. Its long term - your future self will thank you for eating healthy, wholesome food and exercising. I'm 41 btw and enjoying plenty of carb and losing about 1lb-1.5lbs a week. Apart from period cravings its pretty easy once you get used to cutting the sugar.

I agree it’s not about low carb but whole carb. It’s also not about weight loss necessarily (unless you are obese) but building muscle and tone. I haven’t lost any weight (have actually gained it a bit) but have gone down a dress size just by adding pilates 3 x a week to my exercise schedule, and changing up my aerobic workout from jogging to power walking on steep inclines & climbing. I have never felt stronger.

You don't need a low carb diet. I would guess if you have a low carb diet and exercise at that level you are making up the calories elsewhere e.g. alcohol, chocolate. Otherwise you would be exhausted.

No, I wasn't drinking alcohol, and only treated myself to some fruit for 'desert'. I didn't feel exhausted. I felt great.

I was cycling, running, and swimming at the gym - not at an extreme level, just enough to get my heart rate going.

People hate it when this gets said but it really is calories in Vs calories out. If you're consuming less energy than you use then you'll lose weight, the equation is that simple it's just really tricky to change life time eating habits.

I eat lower carb because I'm diabetic and it's easier to control that way, I have plenty of energy for doing weights in the gym 3/4 times a week, as long as you're eating enough in general it's not an issue.

It’s modern life isn’t it. Everything automated, more sedentary jobs, easily accessible high calorie food. Everything that makes our lives easier also makes us fat and unfit. We have to make an effort to exercise and eat lower calorie rather than it just being built into our everyday activities. It’s hard but I imagine it was also very hard washing everything by hand, walking miles to get anywhere, foraging for food etc.

I was thinking about this, though from a slightly different angle. I was wondering WHY the human body will self destruct in this way. Like, if I were designing or evolving a body, I'd make one that wouldn't store an excess amount of fat. So like, maybe it would lay down a few extra pounds, for insulation or energy or whatever, but I find it strange that the body doesn't just expel all excess food/ energy. It just keeps on getting bigger and fatter and more unhealthy.

I mean, our body has auto responses to things like bugs and viruses, to fight them and to keep us healthy, without us having to do anything, and we don't have to make a conscious effort to breathe etc, but with weight it seems easy for humans to massively overeat and the body just accepts the decline.

Weird. I wish it were easier!

@DubarryChuckle read the book Why we eat too much. It explains this very well

The other reason is you have peak muscle mass when young, it goes away if you stop training.

You can be the same weight but with a poorer body composition.

Google Sarcopenia.

I agree about the ageing impact. I'm 52 now and really have to watch it. I do better when I don't eat processed foods at all (but sometimes I do - and too many of them). They taste nice but I feel terrible afterwards, it's not guilt, just high salt and too much sugar/fat for me.

I swim six days a week, one and a half hours and have a session with my trainer doing boxing once a week. It definitely helps and my weight gain has been from muscle.

I've stopped going on the scales now, my clothes are the judge.

It is bloody hard though... really and truly needing to keep a tight grip. Sympathies to everyone asking this question.

Yes. It’s a never ending battle. I have just signed up to the gym today in the hope that it will encourage general good habits. I have such an unhealthy pattern of eating. If I have an event, I can be ultra disciplined and lose loads of weight. However, after it’s over I go crazy, gaining everything back, at the speed of light. Just wish I could be more moderate.

Dubarry - I think it has something to do with the chronic stress of modern life. Back in evolutionary history, if things were stressful, it probably meant food might be scarce soon (if it wasn't already), so it was worth packing on some extra to tide you through. But now stress is just constant, and our bodies are preparing for the 'famine' that never comes.

Also, it's not just calories in/calories out. Or, rather, calories out is a lot more complicated then what activities you do: it's influenced by how well you sleep (worse sleep, less calories burned), how stressed you are (stress means metabolism slows down as noted above), etc. So you're fighting not just with your voluntary physical activity but also invisible, often hormonal-driven impacts on your metabolism from a variety of factors (not all of which are in your control).

Yeah I have to work hard now to stay slim.I'm almost 50.Joe Wicks 90 day plan works for me but that's HIT 5 days a week and watching what I eat...so although it keeps me fit and relatively slim its bloody hard work.

Mulmuration how does poor sleep mean you burn fewer calories? I've not heard that before. I don't get much sleep the nights before I go to the gym as I'm up early 🥱

Murmuration, sorry misspelt that

I don’t think it is that hard. I’ve gone down a dress size in the last 6 weeks by eating mainly salad/veg and sensible amounts of protein.
I’ve done this about 80% of the time, with plenty of ‘treat’ days and meals out. You just need to cut out snacks and eat real, unprocessed foods.

@WreckTangled

Mulmuration how does poor sleep mean you burn fewer calories? I've not heard that before. I don't get much sleep the nights before I go to the gym as I'm up early 🥱

I've read that lack of sleep increases certain hormones that make us hungrier, or more likely to store fat.

I definitely notice when I don't get much sleep that I feel hungry all the time. And tend to eat sugary foods or caffeine just to give much needed energy.

Depends on what you men by carbs. If you mean white flour carbs then they will certainly hinder weight loss.

Sweet potato, lentils, beans, white potatoes will not.

Not all carbs are the same. White flour spikes your blood sugar hugely, its basically converted into sugar once you've ingested it, making you hungry and likely to want more sugar. The whole carbs above don't do this.

I'm 52, post menopause and am at my lowest adult weight. I have no belly fat for the first time in my life. For me it is all about diet. I excercise the minimum recommended amount for health, 30 minutes brisk walking 3 to 5 days each week. Nothing else. But diet, I eat around 1800 calories a day, vegetarian, quite high fat, very few processed foods, alcohol perhaps monthly. I'm never hungry and I feel fabulous health wise. I'm not saying I'll kerp it up for ever, but for me it seems a straight choice between what I want to eat, and how I want to look/feel and at the moment my vanity is winning.

I'm 42. I have dropped half a stone through cutting out refined carbs (most of the time) and eating loads of veg and fruit (mostly veg as fruit also super high in sugar). I do a HIIT 5 x week for 30 mins. I also run and do other bits and pieces. I drink loads of water. I feel the best I have done in a long time and my skin also looks great.
For me it's the consistency. I've been doing this since January and it's now that I'm noticing the difference more.
FWIW I work full-time, have 4 DC and volunteer so it can be done with a busy life. It just takes a bit of planning.

Because humans did not evolve to live sedentary lives in comfortable surroundings with abundant, easily available supplies of highly palatable energy-dense food.

Our bodies did evolve to crave calories and prefer rest, warmth & comfort to hard physical work, so we are genetically & psychologically predisposed to be overweight in the modern world.

I'm a PT and noone I work with does low carb because you can lose just as well on a higher carb diet without the energy drain & irritability that comes with low carbs. We all just eat healthy & exercise quite a bit, it's much easier.