To wish I wasn't selfish and lazy?

[Topsyair]

Overall I'm not a bad person at all but I feel a bit lazy and selfish. I'm a single mum who has about 70pc custody and works 4 days a week. I love my child and am getting to an age where if I wanted more I'd have to get a move on. However I'm just too lazy and selfish. I love my time to myself, going out, having a life aside from parenthood. I just cant see me having another I'm too selfish. Is that awful?

4 day week and being a single parent does not sound selfish or lazy at all! What else would you like to achieve? Sounds like you have a good balance and there's nothing wrong with that?

I think you might have your definitions of lazy and selfish a tad skewed.
Your happy - that’s all that’s necessary.

I'm too self absorbed to have another kid though.

So don’t have one - that’s the simple answer. Why the pressure to have another one?

Because I think if I didnt have the personality i have and was more generous and less selfish I'd have another.

I don’t get why you are criticising yourself for this You have a kid, you work hard, you enjoy your life, you are choosing not to have another child for good reasons…why beat yourself up for a wise decision?

Why do you need to have another child? Lots of people just have one. It's best to stick with one and be happy. You don't sound lazy btw

I don't have any kids and don't want any. I'm content as I am. I have explored the selfish/lazy angle regarding this, and come to the conclusion that wanting your life to be a certain way does not mean you are either or both of those. Fret ye not, OP.

Why is this a problem? I have zero children because I can't be arsed to look after them and I like spending my money on myself. I enjoy pleasing myself and lazing about a fair bit. I'm also very not keen on the idea of pregnancy and birth.

I also have a successful and rewarding career, volunteer in fairly challenging roles, keep a nice house/garden and spend time with people I love.

I'm very satisfied with my life in general. Any regrets I have are minor and certainly not associated with childbearing.

I'm on antidepressants and parenthood is so much easier now.

Choosing to have a child whose needs you don’t ever prioritise is selfish.

Choosing not to have a child when you don’t want one because you like the set up of your life as it is is sensible and far from selfish.

I don't get it, you're not under any obligation to have another child so if you don't want one just don't.