How do you make a big decision?

[JoeysThanksgivingPants]

I don’t want to give the specifics as it would potentially be outing and also I don’t think it matters for the purpose of this thread. It’s a career change decision. I don’t know whether to make the change or stick with what I’m doing currently. I want to do both jobs!

Other than making a pros and cons list, (which I’ve done and it hasn’t brought me any closer to a decision) how do I decide. I keep waiting for a gut feeling to tell me one of them is the job I’m supposed to do but it hasn’t come. I keep changing my mind about it. Which is the story of my life about everything really. So is there a fail safe way to help me decide? I can’t do both jobs part time- I’d just be doing them both badly.

Try the new job if you don’t like it go back to your current type of job

If that would be an option

It’s an option but I’m self employed, new job would also be self employed, so I’d be risking professional reputation on both ends if I was to stop, start and stop and start again. My clients are/would be local and it’s not a large area. Honestly they’d think I hadn’t a clue what I was doing and would just avoid me.

What advice would you give to a friend in the same circumstances?

Do what will make you happiest.

@misscockerspaniel

What advice would you give to a friend in the same circumstances?

Good question. I’ll need to think on that for a minute or two.

@Hugsgalore

Do what will make you happiest.

I don’t know which that is!

Put it to a Mumsnet vote?

See how you feel about the result.

My vote is.....make the change.

I make a pro and con list for most things and it usually works

Imagine you'd taken on path - how do you feel about it? Happy or regretful? Sometimes works!

Decide on one, then sleep on it.
If you’re sad in the morning/worry about it overnight, that means you’ve picked the wrong one

*one

Does your pros and cons list include the longer term view or just short term?

I suppose I think about the long term, my values, my goals and the kind of life I want to live. I also do wider worst case scenario and recovery plans if something doesn't work out. Then I decide whether the risk is worth the potential gains and the risk is a manageable level for my appetite (including the feasibility of mitigations).

Will this make my life better? Does it fit with my values and the way I want to live my life? Are any risks acceptable to me? What would my exit plan be?

Gut feel can be useful as one factor but not definitive and personally I don't think it's wise to rely upon it to the exclusion of other factors as your gut feeling can be wrong and influenced by your own internal perspective/problems. E.g. You might feel anxious due to a previous poor experience rather than because the proposal in the present is a bad deal.

I take both options and then write down what would be the worst possible outcome of the decision I made for both ...then jump,pray and more often than not in my nigh on 50 yrs on this planet even if I make the wrong decision it is never as bad as I thought it would be.

Thanks everyone. I keep to-ing and fro-ing about it. There’s no big rush to make a decision. I can keep going as I am. Financially, long term the “new” job would be much better off for me. But there are things I want to do as part of my current job.

I’ll spend some more time rolling it all around in my head. If I was advising a friend I’d probably be sitting on the fence there too

I'm in a very similar predicament. Do I stay where I am in a job I love or move to a different job I also will probably love (but can't guarantee it) where I'd be paid more but would potentially have to uproot my family to a new area.

Don't know the answer but if you discover it please let me know!

My approach at the moment is to go with the flow and hope that whatever will be will be.

gut feeling

or if it's not a 100% yes then it's a no

I usually think about how I’d feel if the other opportunity wasn’t there - if something happened and the offer was withdrawn. If I’d feel relief then it’s not the right thing for me.

I also think about worst case scenario, what’s my contingency/exit plan. I also think about my misgivings and what I’m concerned about - is there a way around them, am I being fair to myself any my abilities etc.