My singing (in public) was terrible.

[Creakycroaky]

I volunteered to replace a solo singer at a wedding today who had to drop out. It was a church wedding and I’m in a choir, and usually a strong singer (I’ve sung for many years). I had to sing three hymns alone, in front of a congregation of 30 plus videographers, clergy etc. (Covid rules say no group singing). I thought I’d be fine, but I was so nervous; the first two hymns were a bit wobbly but passable, but by the third, I sounded so awful. My voice was shaking and cracking and flat, I couldn’t hit the high notes and out of the corner of my eye I could see people turning when I made mistakes, it was just mortifying. After the service I left as quickly as I could and stopped in a lay-by on the way home for a big cry. I’m just mortified, I sounded so awful and I’ve never sung that badly before in my life. They were expecting a proper singer and I just feel like I made a fool of myself and let them down. I don’t know the couple, and it’s not my usual church, so I don’t have to go back there again, but still, argh! I want to hide!

What went so wrong in the third hymn? Are you used to group singing rather than solo?

Yes I’m not a solo singer at all, I only usually sing in a group. I was nervous and my heart was pounding, it felt like my throat just closed up and I couldn’t make the sound I usually can. The harder I tried the worse it sounded. It was voluntary and unpaid, so I’m not worried about them complaining but I’m just so embarrassed that I couldn’t do it well, it’s not a hymn I’ve ever had a problem with before. So mortifying!

Ah sod it! You never have to see them again - it likely wasn’t as bad as you think but even if it was, it’ll provide something to chuckle about at the reception (which can be boring as hell).

You’ve had your cry, now go home and put the kettle on. No harm done. And that was a kind and very brave thing to do.

(Also, if it helps, I was once life modelling and fainted in the middle of a pose: came round naked in the scattered remains of a lovely old lady’s watercolour set-up. I also once whizzed round my room handing out post-it’s for kids to write some self-assessment stuff on part way through a lesson without realising a cunning year 9 had vandalised the stack of post it notes by writing obscenities on the middle ones hidden from view. So at least you haven’t destroyed someone’s painting with your bare boobs or accidentally labelled an 11 year old with the word ‘wanker’ today)

Oh, love! Please don’t worry. The worst that’ll happen is that some people at the wedding will think it was funny. I was so happy on my wedding day that if a crap singer had performed, I wouldn’t have given a shit.

I entered a talent contest at a holiday park several years ago. There were only 3 entrants - a strange woman who did a very bizarre improvised dance, a bad male singer, and me. I sang. I thought I did brilliantly. I improvised appropriate funny lyrics and had dance moves. It was marked by a “clapometer” and I came a resounding last. I think one person clapped for me. Afterwards in a bar two teenagers came up to me and told me I was brave. 😂 😂

It didn’t matter. Your accidentally under-par performance doesn’t matter either. It’s just one of those things.

I’m sorry you cried. Please have a virtual hug.

I'm sure people will soon not give it a single thought especially when they get their footy brains on.
Don't worry and give yourself a pass.

I sing in public to myself -- apparently I'm terrible. Always. People openly ridicule me because they can't believe I wasn't trying to be terrible. Or maybe they just can't help themselves.

I'm sure you did fine, OP.

So sorry you feel you didn't do yourself justice but honestly, I don't expect it was half as bad as you think, even if your voice was tensing up with nerves. You've years of singing experience behind you which I'm sure carried you through to some extent even if it wasn't the performance of a lifetime

Thank you all for the support! The embarrassment is slowly abating and I’m going to try really hard to not let this put me off singing. Maybe I need to work on singing alone a bit more, I’m clearly not as confident as I thought I would have been!

This happened to me but with piano playing. I was asked (forced) to play by my piano teacher in sort of end of year concert she'd put on (I was an adult learner). I played so badly the piece, which I normally played well, was unrecognisable. I mean every note was wrong, you could practically touch the sense of embarrassment emanating from the audience. I just kept ploughing on through the piece hearing myself playing all the wrong notes, people must have thought I was the comedy turn.

I was completely mortified. Made worse by the fact that at the end of my piece I received a round of 'pity' applause as I slunk back to my seat. It's brought me out on a cold sweat just recalling it now

But awful as it feels now, you will get over it, I have and can laugh about it now. I wish I had been brave enough to have another go and try to overcome my nerves, but I haven't played in public since then.
Please don;t let it put you off singing - you probably think it was worse than it actually was. Maybe you could try doing a duet with someone for a bit of moral support so you don't feel so nervous.

I'm usually a choral singer and have done a lot of solo hymn singing in churches during Covid while no congregational singing has been allowed. I've done it so often now I'm very used to it and it's fine, but the first few times are nerve-wracking, no two ways about it, and everything that doesn't work quite as it should seems amplified to you. I had to sing in an extremely hot organ loft in a heatwave a few weeks ago and I thought I was dreadful - I had trouble with the lower end of my range that I never ever usually have - but everyone said how lovely it was so self-perception and that of others can often be miles apart.

Oh poor you. I am also a strong choral singer without solo experience and this has reminded me of the time I had to sing the solo to Once in Royal David's City. It was bad, but no one died, and I'm sure no one else remembers it all.

These are the things that make weddings memorable - don’t worry! People bond over things like this.

There’s probably a lesson in this about not trying out a brand new skill at someone’s wedding, but honestly I wouldn’t worry about it. It was likely not as bad as you think, and at the end of the day it’s just some songs!

Good on you for stepping up in the first instance. My DC had to play a wind instrument Infront of the whole school. Couldn't get a note out the instrument, it was awful. But after everyone else played their piece he asked for another chance and did well. So you not have been pitch perfect, but good on you for at least trying

Oh bless you. Fair play for giving it a go, not many people would do that. Sounds like you tried your best, and it didn’t work out this time but don’t let it put you off singing. I went to a wedding once and the organist was awful, loads of mistakes and we did all have a bit of a giggle, but it’s not like we could’ve done any better ourselves!

Oh @AmyDudley I’m sorry that happened to you! My experience sounds similar, I wobbled, cracked and even missed entire notes, it was horrendous. I feel exactly as you describe - every time I’ve thought of it this afternoon I’ve felt hot all over!

I would actually LIKE to be able to sing alone in front of an audience, so I’m going to ask my choir director for opportunities to do that, starting small and getting bigger until I can do it. I hope it’s like anything and just needs practice. Now that I’ve got my head on a bit straighter (and calmed down!) I can use it as a starting point to work up from!
Still though. Ugh.

Thanks all - I’m glad I gave it a go, the first two hymns were passable and the alternative was no singer at all, but definitely learnt a lesson about trying too much too soon!

I sing on a semi-professional basis OP (I teach music the rest of the time) and can tell you honestly that lots of people are out of practise at the moment and not as voice perfect as they normally are. Don't beat yourself up over it and definitely don't stop singing. Well done for stepping up today.

By the way, just to add, solo performing is all about solid breathing. That's what you need to focus on. It matters less in choirs but good breathing technique will fix a lot of issues and calm you down when panicked too!!

I did similar when I was about 17. The nerves just got me unexpectedly when I did a solo. It was hideous and really affected me. It was at my own church and I didn’t dare do it again. Don’t let this knock you back, glad to hear you’re saying you’re going to practise more.

Sounds like you didn't get to practice the hymns before hand? In which case all credit to you for just jumping in.
Precovid I regularly did solos, but no chance without at least one rehearsal with the organist/ accompaniment. I think you probably did much better than you think, and I'm sure the bride and groom where chuffed that someone stepped into the breech.

Just adding my tuppenceworth that you were so brave to give it a go & do it voluntarily, giving up your time for strangers. It's a lovely thing to do & I would be extremely grateful to anyone who came to sing for my big day.

I had to give a speech a few years ago snd my voice went really weird. Apparently adrenaline messes with your voice. Beta blockers stop it happening.

Good of you to stepping up though.

Don't the wedding couple pay extra (a 'donation') to the church for having a choir? Could they ask for money back? Not saying you were that bad, but I'm sure when SIL got married, they had to pay extra for the choir.

OP, I've done something similar. I'm usually a fairly strong alto, but was made to sing a rather soprano-ish solo on the freezing cold in front of loads of people I know. It was awful. Part of the issue is that all choral singing has suffered so much in the last 15m or so, and tone, pitch, stamina etc. have suffered too.

I'm in awe of you for being able to get up there and sing a solo in the first place ! How brave. Who gives a shit if you didnt hit every note, I promise you no one will even give it a seconds thought, you will be focusing on it so much more!!