Please keep your fingers crossed I’m going to get this day out

[pleasesendpositivethoughts]

I haven’t seen a single friend or had a moment of respite for over two years. I’m a full time carer to my mum, my grandma, and only sibling is also disabled.

I’m fucking exhausted, I’m grumpy, I’m irritable . Can’t even go to my room without my mum following . Mum won’t do anything alone, needs 24:7 support; and I’m seeing my grandma rapidly going the same way .

Very good friend has promised she will take me out for lunch this month to partly celebrate my birthday too - covid means we haven’t been able to meet . She’s promised it’ll be this week .

I am utterly desperate to go, I’m counting down the bloody hours almost as so desperate - sadly . Please keep fingers crossed that I’ll actually get to go, it’s been postponed once already, I’ve never been so desperate for a bit of time alone !

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you op.
I'm a full time carer for my daughter so understand completely not a moment alone,I'm a single mum so no help from a partner and am estranged through choice from my family.
I hope it doesn't get postponed again.
If you can get this covered cant you get some other times covered for you to go and sit in a coffee shop or just for a walk .

Thank you , I’d feel guilty if I did which is daft but if I went out I know I’d come home to mum saying how fed up she is - I’m worried about going out this coming week as I think I’ll get that when I get home. I’m not sure how to get past that tbh.

Pleasesend, I am crossing absolutely everything for you my honey. That sounds so unbearably hard for you. 🌻🤞 🌻🤞🌻🤞🌻

Hoping and praying you get out @pleasesendpositivethoughts.

Do you have any carers support? Does anyone else come to help?

Thanks so much; am so frustrated this afternoon could cry . Just sitting in pyjamas . I’m away to go try make some tea rather than get a take away - I’m so fed up . I don’t get other help no - I’m getting therapy once a week and she’s suggested lots of things but mum is resistant to any support other than me, says she doesn’t need help . But if I walk away she’ll end up more ill than she is and that would be my fault iyswim .

You need to sort out some respite care regardless of your mum being resistant. You need to have a break.

Get some help. If you get ill then what will happen to your mother and grandmother?

You have a right to a life as well, you know.

You don’t need to feel guilty for being the healthy one.