Wedding presents

Eurovision · 2021-07-03T08:37:43+00:00

Can I ask for help with the tricky topic of wedding gifts. I live with my partner and have two children. What are my options for gifts. I thought about something that reminds us of the gift giver but don't want to sound like a knob. Suggestions please.

cocomelonz · 03/07/2021 10:18

Are you talking about giving a gift or receiving a gift?

Original poster

Eurovision · 03/07/2021 10:49

Sorry forgot to say it is my wedding and I'm wondering what to write on the invite

OP posts:

motogogo · 03/07/2021 10:54

To be honest I wouldn't put anything in the invite, but if anyone asks steer them towards money. Personally I will simply say no gifts if we marry as we really don't need anything.

cocomelonz · 03/07/2021 11:03

I agree just don't mention it on the invites. Most people will give you cash but if you ask for it then it just sounds grabby and entitled.

I would just focus on having a nice day and not worry about what gifts people may or may not get you.

ArtfulScreamer · 03/07/2021 11:04

Don't mention gifts on your invitations just leave it to the guest to decide you'll probably find given your situation that they'll give you cash or vouchers. We didn't include a gift list and this is what most did for us.

cariadlet · 03/07/2021 11:09

You could just say that you don't want any gifts.

Originally, couples lived with their parents until they got married so wedding presents helped them to set up their new home when they had absolutely nothing.

These days, most people either have their own flats before getting married or live together before getting married so really don't need anything.

If dp and I ever got round to getting married, I wouldn't want people feeling obliged to buy us anything; we've got more than enough clutter already.

DuzzyFuck · 03/07/2021 11:25

We are getting married next year and have already been asked what gifts we'd like(!). We don't need anything for the house or any money so we're going to give 2 options;

A donation to the charity that's tied in with our venue

If they really want to get 'us' something then a date for our first year of marriage (so could be a bottle of wine & a board game, a restaurant voucher, takeaway voucher, cinema tickets or something more imaginative.)

Ours is a relatively small wedding with most guests knowing us really well; I'd hope they'd be able to come up with something for a date, and if they can't / can't be bothered then there's the donation option to fall back on.

Workyticket · 03/07/2021 11:28

Our wedding is in less than 2 weeks. People have just started asking and I have no clue what to say!

The only thing we'd like is some garden furniture as we're finally starting on the garden after it being a building site for years! Obviously the pieces are too spendy so would need to be a voucher or something maybe?? It's mortifying

Original poster

Eurovision · 03/07/2021 18:39

My worry with saying no presents is that people will buy us something anyway and we will end with multiple wedding type gifts which go straight to the charity shop. I think I will go for charity donation or something we can do with the present giver. Hopefully I won't cause offence or make it harder for those who feel they should bring a gift. It is a minefield. We just want to get married and have a cheesy disco.

OP posts:

Workyticket · 03/07/2021 20:53

@Eurovision that's my panic too!

Dp has discovered that Amazon do the garden furniture he likes - would it be trashy to request Amazon vouchers if anyone asks?

Eleoura · 03/07/2021 20:58

I didn't add anything to our invites about gifts. No cheesy wishing well, saving for a boiler fund, honeymoon fund, no gift list etc. We had 60 guests. We had 3 give us gift vouchers (John Lewis, westfield and somewhere else). 1 person gave a huge bundle of lovely towels. The rest ALL gave cash.

AmandaHoldensLips · 03/07/2021 21:09

Do all your guests a favour and make a wedding list at a shop then they can choose something which you know you'll like. My niece did hers with John Lewis and there was a really good selection from small items at around £10 up to a few hundred for big items.

shivawn · 05/07/2021 11:10

I have been to 40-50 weddings and have only once gotten a wedding invitation specifying what gift the couple wanted. This went down like a lead balloon with everyone I know who attended and there was a lot of talking behind the couples back coming up to the big day.

I got married 2 years ago, 190 people at the wedding, we got maybe 3 gifts, almost every single guest gave cash, a few gave nothing and that was fine too.

Don't mention gifts on the invitations, it's extremely tacky. Charity donations would be okay but while asking for something you can do with the present giver might sound nice it's actually putting a lot of people under pressure to come up with something. Also, paying for say a meal for 4 people might be more than they would give as a cash gift. Just let people do what they like and don't get hung up on what gifts you're going to get.

DelurkingAJ · 05/07/2021 11:15

I know the MN thinks gift lists are tacky but I much prefer to have one. We did and said no presents but if you want to look here…started at £5. I hate giving cash as I never know how much is appropriate.

Nicolastuffedone · 05/07/2021 11:18

Ask for money to be donated to a specific charity…

ajandjjmum · 05/07/2021 11:18

I don't think gift lists are tacky - I think attaching the gift list (unasked) with an invitation is tacky.

Eleoura · 05/07/2021 19:33

@DelurkingAJ

I know the MN thinks gift lists are tacky but I much prefer to have one. We did and said no presents but if you want to look here…started at £5. I hate giving cash as I never know how much is appropriate.

How do you work out how much is appropriate to spend on their gift then??? The cost of the gift is clearly listed on their gift list!

Summerleaves · 05/07/2021 19:41

@DelurkingAJ

I know the MN thinks gift lists are tacky but I much prefer to have one. We did and said no presents but if you want to look here…started at £5. I hate giving cash as I never know how much is appropriate.

We did similar.

We said we know how expensive weddings are for guests and we'd rather just have their presence. And that we we had been living together for a while so didn't need anything.

But also aware some people would like to give a present and made a list at a department store with gifts starting at a few pounds and lots of things around 20-30 pounds.

A lot of people took us at our word and didn't get gifts but we still ended up with random gifts not on the list!

I don't think we out it on our wedding invites, can't remember, maybe just when people asked.

Palavah · 05/07/2021 19:44

Friends of mine asked for books, which I thought was lovely - gave loads of scope.

Treezan82 · 05/07/2021 19:50

I know mumsnet is massively anti gift lists but I sooo much prefer when I get an invite accompanied by gift registry info. Takes all the work out of it - I just choose something I like, in my budget. I have been invited to a wedding with no mention of gifts and I honestly don't know where to start - will prob give cash but will stress how much, voucher or literal cash, are cheques still acceptable?
Gift registry - 5 mins on my phone and I'm done.

ElderMillennial · 05/07/2021 20:13

Say nothing unless people ask and if they do say you'd prefer money or vouchers

StripeyDeckchair · 05/07/2021 20:52

I went to a wedding where the couple said they didn't want gifts (been together for ages) but would appreciate an album(cd format) with a note on why you'd chosen it.

Really enjoyed deciding what to get them

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 05/07/2021 21:31

I think the CD or board game ideas are lovely. I wouldn’t mind being asked for those if I had enquired about gifts.

I hate mention of them on invites, especially when it’s a request for cash.

Wedding presents

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