Does anyone feel they don't 'belong' where they live?

[LittleMrsLost]

I wondered if anyone could empathise?
Over 30 years ago I left my home town (northern UK) when I started work after university. I didn't plan to move so far away (300 miles) but jobs in my field were scarce then.

Fast forward 10 years - met DH, had kids, they settled in good local schools, DH's work (Head Office) was local to us and he was the main earner.

Now - DCs left home and buying their own places - I feel I don't belong here or anywhere. I go 'home' to see my parents but it doesn't feel like home any more.

My parents have extended family and friends going back decades as they have lived within a 10 mile radius of where they are born.

I don't have that and wish now I'd reconsidered moving closer many years ago. I don't especially like where I live- a characterless commuter belt- where families move quite often. I've lost a lot of friends who have relocated over the years for work.

Is there anyone else living away from their roots who feels they don't belong there, but not where they were born either?

Moving back is not an option as I'd leave my DCs behind and have the reverse of what I've done- driving hundreds of miles to visit ageing parents/

Yes, totally, I’ve got stuck in a city I despise due to job and kids in school. I have friends here but I’ll never feel settled. Where I’m from doesn’t feel like home anymore either, not lived there for 20 years. My medium to long term plan is to move afresh somewhere I like once kids have completed school.

Funnily enough I live down the road from where I grew up - but I still don’t feel like I have many roots here. My parents and sister have moved away, childhood friends are gradually doing the same. The area is also very different from how it was when I grew up.

I guess what I’m saying is there’s no guarantees anywhere, even if you stay local. People seem to move around a lot more than they did a generation or two ago.

I moved back to where I grew up (bot the place I was actually born) for logistical reasons, three years ago. But I hate this area then, and I hate it now. It's quite la-di-dah, and I'm not. My working class no-school-qualifications partner sticks out like the sorest thumb ever had and we both prefer to pop out to places further afield because we just can't relax here. It's not forever. But I really do feel the lack of belonging. I'm actually quite homesick for where we were.

Definitely. I live in quite a clannish place where it seems nobody has ever moved more than a few streets or a postcode away. My introversion, accent and general ADHD-ness marks me as different and only worthy of dirty looks. I'm biding my time as everything is dependent on finances/job plus most of my links to home have died.

Yeah, I feel a lot like that. I was saying on another thread that when the kids are out of the house I'm going to buy a camper van and go around in that. Being able to be constantly on the move is probably my best chance at feeling at home!