Working full time with young children

[Eminybob]

I’ve recently received the opportunity to take redundancy from my job which I hate, and have been offered my dream job elsewhere. Very exciting stuff and I’m over the moon, and I’ve been in my current job a long time so the redundancy pay is not insignificant.

Anyway, currently I work 3 days per week, and have done so since having DS1 who is 7. The new job is full time.
DS2 is 2 and will still be in nursery for the next 2 years.

I had planned originally to remain part time at least until he was at school, and probably longer in order to help manage school holidays etc.

I know it’s the right thing for me career wise, but I can’t get over the guilt at having to put DS2 into full time childcare. And I’m also worried about how we are going to manage the school holidays for DS1.

I thought I had thought everything through before volunteering for redundancy but I’m panicking now it’s become a reality.

Can anyone share their experience of working full time with young children, how the children have handled it, how school holidays work etc etc please.

I guess I need reassurance that it’s going to be ok, and advice from a practical point of view.

Thank you!

It's not easy but remember there are 2 of you . Have a very frank conversation with your husband and make it known he will be expected to sacrifice his annual leave for school holidays as will you. And share the headache and cost of childcare
I'm a single parent but DS dad knows these things still apply to him!

It never occurred to me not to. My career didn’t suddenly become less important because I’d given birth. I went back from maternity leave early, and DS was with his (adored) childminder from seven months until we left the country when he was seven (for wraparound care).

He knows, and he does use his annual leave currently for childcare. But whereas now he only needs to use 3 days to cover a full week, he’ll need to use 5. It’s a struggle as it is!
We do have the option of occasional help from GP and Ds2’s nursery has a holiday club for older DC, but that’s costly.

I’ll be working from home for at least part of the week, so it’s not ideal to have DS1 with me, but a possibility on those days.

I went back to work when Ds was one. Full time nursery to school age. Dh and I have always just split up our holidays to cover most of the school holidays so holiday clubs are more limited.
Can you negotiate to four days a week? Any wfh?
If the job is your dream job, just try it! Congratulations on the job offer

@Fistful

It never occurred to me not to. My career didn’t suddenly become less important because I’d given birth. I went back from maternity leave early, and DS was with his (adored) childminder from seven months until we left the country when he was seven (for wraparound care).

I think it’s having 2 DC at different stages which I’m struggling with the idea of juggling. If it were just one or the other it would seem less daunting.

But you’re right, it’s my career and this decision is going to benefit the family for the long term, not just the few years while the DC are young.

@icelollycraving

I went back to work when Ds was one. Full time nursery to school age. Dh and I have always just split up our holidays to cover most of the school holidays so holiday clubs are more limited. Can you negotiate to four days a week? Any wfh? If the job is your dream job, just try it! Congratulations on the job offer

Thank you!

I think once my foots in the door I’ll look at thier flexible options, maybe condensed hours to get a day in the week back.

I know we will make it work, we have always muddled through before. I’m just having a panic!

Mine were different ages when I started full time, 3 and 5. We used a childminder for wrap around care. 3YO went to school nursery in the morning and CM picked him up at lunch time. Then picked up 5YO in the afternoon.

I am now WFH. The children are older and we no longer use CM. I can pick the kids up and they can entertain themselves for a couple of hours while I finish up and DH gets home.

What has helped is DH works condensed hours and a Saturday, so has two days off in the week. He is also home by 4pm most days. I work flexi time, so can do the school run before starting work. My employer is also very flexible with leave etc and I am basically guaranteed any days I want off. Between the two of us, we can manage the holidays. But it does generally mean we're not both off at the same time IYSWIM.

It's hard working FT with little ones, it's hard working PT with little ones! And actually it's hard being at home with little ones too now that I think about it.

Illness, school holidays etc, it's difficult to juggle for working parents. It does sound like it is the right decision for you, and for your family. Your DH sounds on board as well. Think through and plan your childcare carefully, accept it's going to cost ££££ for the next few years and do it!

You are entitled to ask for flexible working so scope out the possibility of WFH, flexible hours, compressed hours etc.

Good luck!

Worth it for a good job and pay.

Yes, school holidays are the biggest challenge, would save up for the best poss childcare.

I personally don’t think ‘condensed hours’ of 4 days a week and full time pay works well, home wise or for work. ‘9 day fortnight’ better IMO.

Honestly?

I don't think it's fair to put a child into full time nursery or any kind of day care . The days are just too long and full on. However, if you want to use people who prioritise their career as role models, then you will find a way to make it work.

Surely, if the company at your dream job want you they'll offer reduced hours/days to get you. Likewise your DH - can he reduce his hours/days?

What about using a childminder instead of nursery? Then both children will spend the day together (not in different age groups as per some nurseries) and it will be more of a homely environment. That might make you feel better about it? Ultimately your children will be fine whichever option you choose. It's hard not to feel guilty but just remind yourself of what they wouldn't have/be able to do if you weren't working.

Don't have WFH with DC there as part of your plan. It's rare that this is possible. If you're earning more, and have a redundancy payment, you should hopefully be able to pay for some childcare/holiday clubs to make the new opportunity work.

Do you think your DH would pass up the offer of his dream job if it meant childcare costs would go up? Unless the increased childcare costs mean that you'll struggle to manage financially, don't think about not taking it. Or is there any chance your DH could flex his hours/go part time now you're earning more?

At the moment DH works every other Saturday and has a day off in the corresponding week. I’m going to ask nursery if they can do 5 days one week, 4 the next to incorporate this.