Splitting. How much should I be entitled to?

[MarthasGinYard]

Also have posted in legal thank you. Have been with P for 14 years not married.

We have one dc together.

We are both on mortgage and title deeds of house. We are tenants in common I believe, as we changed that so that if anything happened to either of us that half of house would go automatically to DC.

I always worked full time until had DC then went part time as he was high earner. I have stayed PT to accommodate his working pattern which is really unsociable hours.

He's always paid all bills but I've always provided extras holidays bought all clothes, clubs etc for DC as well as most of food.

He won't move, and to be honest I'm happy to go. It's becoming unbearable due to emotional and verbal abuse etc.

House is valued approx 400,000

We owe 100,000 on mortgage

He paid initial 50,000 deposit but this was not ring fenced etc. I furnished the house.

He wants to buy me out, am I right in thinking I would be entitled to half of equity approx 150,000

He's basically saying he'll give me 50 grand and I should be grateful as he's paid the mortgage all these years. I said I'd work out a childcare bill for every hour he was away for weeks on end end whilst I raised out dc over 10 years as my earning power was stripped!!

I will see solicitor, but I'm not too well at moment and wondered if anyone had advice?

Huge thanks

I'm not a lawyer but I think as you're not married there's no settlement to be made beyond you getting half of the equity, and working out maintenance based on nights of residency.

Yep you’re entitled to half the equity.

Who paid the mortgage, furnished it etc is irrelevant. You own the property 50%.

The deposit is a bit less clear. You say it wasn’t ring fenced but he did pay it so you might want to give him that back.

If you own the property together you should receive half the equity. Speak to a solicitor and agree to nothing until you have.

You really do need to see a solicitor as you may be entitled to more than half if you can show you have developed a constructive trust. The main problem is any fees may be more than the award as it's a very complex area of law. Make sure your advisor gives you regular updates on the bill. If you look up constructive trusts there's some good starter information out there.

Thanks all

I'm relieved to see that it's as I thought. Half the equity as far as we know.

GiveMe

That is really useful I'll have a look thank you

I think it is fair if he gets back his £50k first then rest of equity split 50/50. Maintenance for child would be determined on where child as sleeps. Would he want 50/50 care of your DC? If not how many.nigjts each week would he want her to stay at his home?

He's saying he wants dc 50/50 but in reality this will never work with his job.

I certainly wouldn't want this either.

After how he's treated us, I won't be giving up half of 'his' deposit. He wouldn't even have to remortgage to buy me out.

I'm going to phone solicitor tomorrow

When you bought as tenants in common did you not sign a Deed or covenant that said how much of the house you each own?

If it’s 50/50 that’s what you own.

When the house is sold the solicitor will pay the proceeds according to that deed, if you give it to them.

Many thanks

I think we were joint tenants but we had to become tenants in common when we decided if either of us die then our respective haves go straight to dc not each other

P is keeping house

Hopefully you have the paperwork from that process? If not ask the solicitor that handled it for you.

Depends on the percentage you own as tenants in common. It's not always 50:50, it can be whatever split the owners decide.

I had something similar with my ex (it was a while ago now...)

We got our deposits back and the equity was split 50/50.

I also furnished the house, so all that came with me bar a few items which exDP bought off me

Check what the paperwork says, if you both signed to say 50:50 then go for that. If he is screwing you over this and going for 50:50 custody then go for everything you are entitled to.

Ignore the deposit unless it’s ringfenced, you need the money for you and your DC.

I appreciate that if not ring fenced, his deposit is touchable, but it feels pretty shitty imo. Half of the equity after deducting the deposit is, imo "fair".
The furniture purchase would have happened regardless and ultimately the value depreciates rather than appreciates. So is a moot point, beyond you being bake to take it all with you, if you so please a d obviously if can still show ownership with receipts etc.
I understand that you've lost out financially via work etc, childcare etc, but those were decisions made as a family and you still have gained substantially with the equity that has been paid off via your ex. So really 250 equity shared 5050 is, imo, fair and means you could move on.

50% of equity and half the (movable) contents is a starting point. I would suggest proposing 60% of equity and personal effects plus maintenance based on the calculator for dc, as a starting point so you have wriggle room, settling on 50% plus contents, let him think he's talked you down. Explain if he has dc 50/50 he needs to pay 50% of all costs including childcare etc.

It really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks is “fair”, legally you’re entitled to half the house equity , including the deposit if it wasn’t ring fenced and child support if you have residency of dc. If his work won’t enable him to have dc 50/50 and he insists, you will have to take him to court via mediation first to try and sort it out , but be aware it could get costly if he insists on it and he can easily afford to prolong the court case.

Surely you’d only need to pay half the deposit £25k
And then split 50:50
But yes do see a solicitor

I won't be giving up half of 'his' deposit. He wouldn't even have to remortgage to buy me out

Just be careful with this approach. He won’t necessarily need to evidence the deposit was formally ring fenced. 50k can disappear in legal fees extremely quickly. If he feels he’s entitled to it he might take the view that he’d rather take the risk of lawyers getting it than you.

Thanks all

Noted Pegasus I get where you are coming from.

Spoke to solicitors office who are getting back to me but did advise I may be able to get legal aid.

He's getting more and more abusive. I had to call police this morning and I've called dc school as I'm so worried for them.

Really appreciate all the advice.

First of all, @MarthasGinYard I’m sorry that you and the DC are going through this.

As a PP has mentioned, if he takes this to court then mediation needs to happen first. Usual process for this is that each have an individual session with the mediator then joint appointments.
If you feel that he is not going to action what is agreed at mediation then please tell your solicitor as soon as this is evidenced to avoid further delay and costs.

In my experience, the court won’t be overly interested in what contributions you have made in the past, married or not.

Do you have some RL support, maybe to assist with finding you and the children some alternative accommodation?

@Tibtab

Ignore the deposit unless it’s ringfenced, you need the money for you and your DC.

This.

You gave up your job and supported his.

Don't give an inch.
Get as much as you can for your children.

Thank you all so much

I've contacted women's Aid who have put me in touch with a local pathway who are looking for accommodation for me.

Just to triple check this

By leaving the house I'm not relinquishing any claim on property am I?