I have a friend of around 8 years who I met through a mutual hobby. We have children of the same age and have spent a lot of time together and our DHs have also become friends. During 2019 friend became more and more racist, bigoted and very unchristian for someone who will tell all and sundry how important her Christian faith is to her, and conversation was mostly one sided (her issues and problems brought on by herself). When covid hit in 2020 I took a step back from the friendship but when I did speak to her it was more of the same. I turned down a new year's eve zoom party with the excuse that I had had enough of zoom given that I'm on it all day for work. She called round a few weeks ago, spoke about herself and her family but didn't once ask about mine.
The friendship has run its course as far as I'm concerned but today she messaged me with an invite to a bbq at hers in a few weeks. I'm not going to go but don't know whether or not to tell her the exact reason why I've distanced myself over the last year or just make an excuse. Whatever I do I know she'll be talking about me behind my back.
So what would you do? Make an excuse and keep schtum or tell the truth?