Newly single and struggling. Help me to be happily single again.

[Positivefuture2]

My nearly 5 year relationship ended a few months ago. I was - and am still, to be honest - heartbroken. He was cold and uncaring in how he finished it. I'm almost 47 and before this I only ever had a two year relationship in my 30s, so I've been single a long time before this and was always happily so. Now, however, I feel my self esteem has taken a battering and I'm not finding enjoyment in anything.

I'd love to hear your happily single stories to help me boost how I'm feeling.

You can:

Spread yourself out in the bed
Eat what/when you want
Go out when you want and stay out as late as you want
Meet your friends for lunch/dinner
Stay at the gym for hours
Let your cats/dogs sleep on the bed
Go on foreign city breaks (hopefully) with your friends
Play your favourite music full blast
Flirt with strangers
Drink wine on a Sunday afternoon
Adopt more pets

Just off the top of my head Hope you're ok

I'm following as I'm in a similar situation so not many suggestions, I'm mostly wallowing right now but I know I can be happily single again and you can too :)

I'm also wallowing. Any further advice or suggestions?

Nothing wrong with a little wallow - gentle music, some heart warming teary films. Be kind to yourself first, then give yourself the tough love to a friend talk

During a really difficult breakup I kept a diary and found this really helped. I would write in it a few times a day when I really needed to, just saying everything I felt and wanted to get off my chest. As time went on i used it less and less and eventually no longer needed it.

I'm 6 months post break up and also 47 in a few months! I've had a lot of therapy (also coping with a few other losses) and I'd highly recommend that. I'm also keeping a diary and I have the exact same experience of writing in it a lot, then this diminishing with time but I still find it useful. The book How To Heal ABroken Heart by Rosie Green helped me enormously. Practically, I looked after myself like a parent would a child, I laid my pjs out before I went to work, put a tea bag in a cup next to some biscuits so i sort of welcomed myself home from work each night . I spent a lot of nights in bed very early reading or watching telly. All this really worked, I'm ready to start dating soon, but also have fallen in love with the headspace and actual space I have. I never thought that would happen, I was so devastated and like you ,my ex dp was cold and unfeeling about the split. I think instead of distracting myself (I couldnt as it was lockdown) I really faced all the emotions. It has been really horrific, at times I've been so low, but then one day it just starts to come right again. Try to do all the things that you want someone to do, a friend told me that treats helped her, fancy chocolate or wine, or a magazine every week. I think its about building a life where you feel valued by yourself. Like you deserve the nice things