Should i say something to nursery?

[Juststopasking]

My dc are 4yo twin girls and at pre school/nursery. They've come home today and said that another child (boy of same age) has been pushing them, deliberately getting my dc's clothes muddy, snatching toys off them and following them around when they don't want to be. I've told them to say "stop" if another dc is doing stuff like that to them, then tell the staff if they don't stop. My dc said they tried to tell the staff member but she was talking to another staff member and therefore didn't listen. I think they were quite upset by it as they're quite gentle kids and will play nicely with anyone.

I know it's not that big a deal but I've taught them since they were tiny that if someone is doing something they don't like to them, ie touching and snatching things then they should say no and if that doesn't work, then get help from an adult.

Im not thinking of making a big deal of it, just to drop nursery a message to keep an eye on interactions between my dc and this other one. Or is that ott? This is the second or third time over the last few months that my dc have told me this kid is "being naughty/unkind". I don't think mine are angels by the way. But they're not aggressive.

I was bullied all the way through my school years so i really want to instill in them how to stand up for themselves without getting into conflict with other kids. What else should i do?

I don't think this boy is bullying them by the way. I want to think of ways i can instill confidence to stick up for themselves and whether i should mention it to their key worker.

I would mention it to nursery so they can keep an eye on it. However if it's only the second or third time they've mentioned it in a few months then it isn't a big issue for them.
By mentioning it then the key worker can keep an eye open and stop it becoming a bigger issue.

Yep definitely mention it x

Thanks both I'll mention it

I work in a preschool and I’d want to know about this. We also teach the children to say Stop and get an adult if the other child doesn’t stop so I think you’re spot on there. The staff will keep an eye on the situation and support the children. Sometimes it’s a way of getting attention from a child who they want to play with so it may not be as it seems. But if it is then obviously it needs to be stopped.

That's great to hear that we are doing the right thing already. Ive just asked their key worker to keep an eye out.

Having been the mum of the kid doing the pushing, I would always encourage parents to speak to key workers. Half the problem with helping my kid improve his behaviour was that the key worker didn't always see what was happening until it had escalated into something loud or fighting, so the more they know the more they can help the kid learn better behaviour.

As well as teaching them to say ‘stop it’ I would add on ‘I don’t like it’ sounds silly and simple but does sometime help.

And yes, mention it to the nursery.

Half the problem with helping my kid improve his behaviour was that the key worker didn't always see what was happening until it had escalated into something loud or fighting, so the more they know the more they can help the kid learn better behaviour.

That's really interesting thank you. I think the boy maybe could do with a little guidance in how to approach other children. I'm sure it can't be nice for him either. And the tip about "i don't like it" is very useful as well, I'll talk to them about that later as well. Thank you.