How to emotionally detach from things?

[LoreenForPM]

I'm sorry if this comes out all garbled but I'm after some perspective and I don't really have anyone IRL to talk this through with.

Here goes... I've always been very sensitive and a worrier. Even as a child things would play on my mind for a long time. Even things that I had no power to affect and which didn't really affect me/my life.

I haven't grown out of it. In fact, it might have gotten worse as I've become an adult.

ATM there is a situation on my street involving a couple of alcoholics, I suspect some financial abuse, mistreatment of a dog, and a child who's being a bit neglected.
I won't go into detail because I'm not after advice on the situation. All the relevant agencies are informed.

There's nothing I can do o affect the situation beyond calling the relevant authorities whenever it's appropriate. The situation doesn't affect my life because the people involved aren't my family or friends.

But I can't sleep at night for worrying about the situation, its always on my mind, and I feel physically sick a lot of the time because of the situation.

My DP is pretty unemotional - if it doesn't direct affect or involve him, he doesn't really care about much. I mean, he does but he has a way to distance himself and not let it get him down. He gets frustrated with me that I can't do the same thing but he also gets frustrated because he can't understand why I'm upset about this situation when I can't do anything and it doesn't affect me.

How do other people manage to distance themselves from horrible things and situations? What do you tell yourself to distract yourself? How do you think about other things?

Sorry if this is long and doesn't make much sense but I don't really have anyone IRL to talk to.

Think of it another way. The problem is not that you are a worrier, the problem is that you have got stuck in a rut and would like to change your thinking patterns.

There are several techniques to stop negative intrusive thoughts, focus on a happy ending, and then clear your mind. You need to practice them when it matters least and you are relaxed, and work your way up to using them when the intrusive thoughts are at their worst.

If you prefer working with a therapist, ask your GP if they can refer you for CBT.

@Thelnebriati

Think of it another way. The problem is not that you are a worrier, the problem is that you have got stuck in a rut and would like to change your thinking patterns.

There are several techniques to stop negative intrusive thoughts, focus on a happy ending, and then clear your mind. You need to practice them when it matters least and you are relaxed, and work your way up to using them when the intrusive thoughts are at their worst.

If you prefer working with a therapist, ask your GP if they can refer you for CBT.

Thank you for this - when you say focus on a happy ending, do you mean focusing on a happy ending for the particular situation I'm worried about? I have tried doing this but I always end up dismissing the happy ending because I know its very unlikely to actually happen.

You've done all you can. It's not up to you to do any more. I don't have time or head space to worry endlessly about things I can change (I have enough to worry about with my immediate family!)

Things I CAN'T change!

It takes practice, and its best to practice on something you're not invested in. Also, talking yourself out of the happy ending is another aspect of your thinking habits you need to work on using the same 'stop and redirect' technique.

Watching with interest because you have just described exactly how I feel and react about things. Even just imagining a situation can bring about the most awful, real feelings of grief, or panic, or whatever.

I wish I could offer more help OP and I hope other posters come along who can offer you some really good advice, but please know you’re not alone and I can absolutely empathise and sympathise.

@Thelnebriati

It takes practice, and its best to practice on something you're not invested in. Also, talking yourself out of the happy ending is another aspect of your thinking habits you need to work on using the same 'stop and redirect' technique.

I'll look up 'Stop and Redirect' thank you. I really do need to work on my thinking habits. Just not sure where to start.

@MaMelon

Watching with interest because you have just described exactly how I feel and react about things. Even just imagining a situation can bring about the most awful, real feelings of grief, or panic, or whatever.

I wish I could offer more help OP and I hope other posters come along who can offer you some really good advice, but please know you’re not alone and I can absolutely empathise and sympathise.

In the nicest possible way, it's good to know other people feel this way too. Sometimes I feel so stupid for over-thinking and worrying like I do.

I know exactly what you mean - I often look at other people and think ‘ how does this not bother you, why does it not upset you?’. It’s hard to shut off, it’s like a constant background noise.

I do what I can then have to make myself stop thinking about it (I have GAD and PTSD).

So, I’d talk to neighbours about the people you are worried about, make sure the right authorities and school were notified, perhaps list what I had done or seen with dates then step away.

I have to remind myself that problems take ages to sort out - years if it’s anything to do with social services or legal matters.

You might have to experiment to see what works for you, for 'stop' I say the word 'stop' firmly and picture a bright red stop sign.
I then have a story pre prepared that I walk through in my mind.

If I find myself obsessing about a situation I say things like; 'you didn't cause this to happen, you are not responsible, you've done all you can, you cant do any more right now, now wait for the outcome' and then redirect my thoughts.

Thank you so much, everyone

Look up pure o. Took me years to realise my obsessive thinking g wasthat. I take lexapro 10mgs now and it has calmed my raging dreamin g brain a good bit..