Someone hold my hand

[kittlesticks]

I've started another thread about my mum suddenly dying two weeks ago. I just wondered if anyone was out there who could hold my hand.

My mum was in her late 60s and this was a completely unexpected death from a heart condition nobody knew she had and that was symptom free. The additional madness of her being such a vocal and active presence in my life to suddenly just disappearing is just another level on the grief.

My mum was wonderful - she was so full of life and such an emotional support to me. I have two young children that she adored and I worry on a daily basis that I won't be able to get over her death, give my kids a happy life the way she did for me.

This is just a vent, no need to reply. It's just awful.

Hand hold right here

Hand hold here. My mum went suddenly a few years back, not entirely unexpected as she had long term health issues but we didn’t expect her heart to stop all of a sudden when it did.

It does get easier over time. Just allow yourself to grieve. It will come in waves and Often when you least expect it.

Hi @kittlesticks. Here to hold your hand.

My Mum became critically ill from perfectly healthy and enjoying a meal out, to me being told she was unlikely to survive, all in the space of an hour. Somehow, luck was on her side and she did.
I know how quickly everything is can change.
Sending love to you xx

I'm so sorry OP. We are here.

When I lost my mum I couldn't understand how the world was still turning. Your mum sounds like an amazing person.

Please take some comfort from the fact that your mum got to hold and know your children.
Unfortunately my mum died after a very short illness, from an unknown heart condition, when I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first.
You won’t get over her death but it will get easier, and remembering her will become a pleasure, not painful.
💐

Thanks for the warm words.

I'm so sorry. I lost a parent too. One day your memories will bring you comfort and thinking of her will make you smile, but for now, just grieve, grieve, grieve.

Its still so soon after your loss. I can remember feeling like I couldn't breathe for a long time after my mother died. It was all I could think about my head constantly went back to memories about her.

Its 6 years since she passed now and I have learned to love with the grief and I can remember her with a smile now. It woild have been her 76th birthday this Friday just passed. I spoke with my stepdas and we laughed together about what she woild have been doing for this. I find joy in the memories now but it took some time to get there.

Give yourself some time. Be kind to you and don't rush yourself. The very fact you felt such a strong tie to your mum will pish you on and ensure your children feel similar with you.

Its not easy but you will slowly get there.

Meanwhile you will have lots of hand holds here. Mine included.

I'm finding it so hard to cope

Hello sending you a hand hold. It’s so very awful when you loose someone so vital and involved in a sudden way. I lost my DM a couple of years ago and like you was fortunate to have her in my every day life with young children.
I found the bereavement board really helpful there is a thread for anyone who has lost a parent and I posted there when RL interest and support had faded.
Don’t be afraid to see your GP if you think you need to discuss what they can do to help if you aren’t sleeping for instance.
With me having the young children dragged me through every day as we still had to live our lives. I watched mindless box sets when I needed to disappear into another world for 45 minutes.
Do you have people around you to comfort you?

Hi @ilovebagpuss thanks for replying.
Yes I have my DH with me and I have good friends around me.
I just keep thinking how much I will miss her, how much I loved her and how crazy it is that I just don't have her anymore.
I don't feel I was a good mum today to my kids who are too little to really understand all this.

I just want to text her and chat to her about our days.

I'm so sorry you've lost your mum. Both my parents died when I was 32, it crushed me. The feelings of loss, emptiness, grief, sadness and anger were huge. They still can be at times, I feel robbed of my mum being a brilliant granny to my children. I hate that I don't have them here to ask for guidance or to help me with a sketchy memory they would be able to tell me about.

The biggest help I had was having grief counseling which helped me process some of how I was feeling. I also found that friends who had lost their own parents totally got it (obviously) and I found talking to them much more helpful than others who hadn't experienced any close family member deaths.

My children were 2 years and 8 months old when it all happened and I'm sure there were a lot of bad parenting days from me at that time. Don't beat yourself up. I'd give you a hug if I could.

I’m so sorry