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Anyone else feel like this about work? I don’t know what to do

13 replies

Rita1936 · 27/06/2021 10:57

NC but regular poster.

I have built up a decent career but not massively in love with it anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just a bit lazy. I don’t feel passionately about it like others do. Despite that, starting out I must have worked hard as it’s a competitive industry. I’ve wound up mid thirties on around 75k, living just north of the midlands. I’ve got a small mortgage left on a house I like though isn’t anything amazing, just an average 3 bed.

I’ve been with DP a while and we are thinking of moving in, I would move to his and maybe rent my place out. We haven’t talked about money beyond that, he earns a tiny bit more than me and money just hasn’t come up between us really ever. We just sort of pay equally I guess but there’s been times he’s paid for more I think. We don’t really count it.

Anyway. I’ve felt so shit about work recently that I’ve wanted to do maybe three days a week. I don’t know if this will change the dynamics between us? A friend has said I will feel shit not being able to do all the things I want on my own terms. Also wonder whether I will suddenly think what am I going to do on those days off? I’m also worried I’m maybe just burnt out, haven’t had a day off since December.

I feel the weeks pass in seconds yet the days feel so unbearably long. At work I am often faking enthusiasm in a room or zoom full of people who appear to be genuinely interested in the work. I’ve thought about change of careers but I’m good at what I do when I put my mind to it, so i don’t think a different career is the answer. Just wondered if anyone had any advice really or has felt similar.

OP posts:
rejectedcarrit · 27/06/2021 11:01

Hey there, if you haven't had a day off since December, no wonder you are feeling burn out! Take a holiday first.

Are your employer open to flexibility like going to three days on a temporary basis?

Would they consider letting you have a career break? You could save up for a bit then just take some time out to do something completely different- I suspect you'll feel refreshed at the end of it no matter what you do and go right back to your career with a new perspective.

Your salary is fab, I can't see you giving that up easy, but if you do go part time at least you will have plenty to live on.

SmellThat · 27/06/2021 11:03

I cut down my hours and it was the best thing I did but I love being at home so it's probably not for everyone. I like having the spontaneity being able to change my plans to suit me my family and friends without having to think too much about it

Sensateria · 27/06/2021 11:08

Absolutely take some time off first before you make any big decisions, I’m not surprised you’re feeling burnt out.

Sounds like you have a couple of options, part time work on a salary of 75k pro rata isn’t too shabby. Maybe you would consider using your time off to retrain/education in something completely different. Once you’ve had some time off to clear your head sit down and work through the finances and have a think about what you’d like to do and see where you go from there.

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TacoSunday · 27/06/2021 11:17

Agree with PPs. Is there a related field that would interest you more? Life is short and it’s crap if you don’t enjoy your job.

It sounds like you could live a happy comfortable life part time so maybe that would reset your work-life balance. I would certainly consider it.

Fluffandbubbles · 27/06/2021 11:50

It might sound crazy, but is work your entire focus ? In my 40’s I just got fed up with the grind of it all and didn’t know the way out. Once I started running, joined a local club, made new friends and started to take a role in running the club then it took the focus off just work. If you don’t have balance then the bits you do have take on a bigger than normal importance.

Scaredycatmoo76 · 27/06/2021 11:52

You need a holiday op

Don’t make any rash decisions

Book some annual leave

Digestive28 · 27/06/2021 11:54

Take a holiday. Then work four days not three at least to start with to test it out.

LonstantonSpiceMuseum · 27/06/2021 12:02

Echoing the other posters here about taking a break- but to add to that,I got to a similar point in my own work and found i quite enjoyed training up new members of staff. This lead to me blogginga nd answering questions online to help people which I really enjoyed. Then I started giving free seminars and all this slowly turned into freelancing opportunities.
I'm not in a position to do that anymore but running my own business and juggling clients definitely gave me more of a mental challenge in a different way. Helping people out did too.
Would those both be realistic avenues to stretch your brain a bit while keeping your skills?

thecatsthecats · 27/06/2021 12:13

You can absolutely afford to do this.

In fact, I'd assume that North of the Midlands would be a relatively cheap area? (apologies, I househunt idly online around there, and head more north if I want to get more for my imaginary budget!)

I'm on a bit of a career break myself because I was first feeling like you about work, THEN it got horribly stressful and I was signed off. You work to live, not the other way around.

Having said that, with practicalities in mind, would you feel better doing 4 days compressed to 3? Or 4.5 to 4? Could you try this out using holiday and find some time for yourself/specific interests? I negotiated five days additional holiday at one point, that I took off to make regular long weekends where I'd focus on my writing.

But I echo PPs - take some leave and think about what you really want.

Scaredycatmoo76 · 27/06/2021 12:38

How on earth can someone say so categorically that the op can “absolutely afford” to do this?

TacoSunday · 28/06/2021 08:00

Scaredy - maybe because even on half her salary she will still earn well above the national average wage, and she says she only has a small amount of mortgage left?

She definitely could afford it..... whether she wants to reduce her income like that is another matter.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 28/06/2021 08:13

I think it's definitely worth trying to find something you are passionate about, whether that's in work or outside.
If you go p/t but also have rental income that should keep you on an even footing with your DP.
Is there something that interests you? New study, a qualification, art or craft, volunteering, a sport?
I'm on about a third of your wage but work in the environment sector which I'm very passionate about and it makes me really look forward to work (existential climate & nature angst aside)...

BoomChicka · 28/06/2021 08:29

Book some annual leave for as soon as you possibly can!! Take a decent break, then could you take 2 days per week annual leave for a few weeks and see how you feel? Even better, work out your 3 day pay, and next time you get paid move the rest into another account and test living on it?

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