OWCH (Older womens communal housing)

[womaninatightspot]

Only in my 40's and DC are primary school age so this is a future plan but I quite like the idea of having a small place within a female based cooperative. Neighbours helping each others out etc.

I can't imagine moving to London (the cost!) but do you think these schemes will become more popular as time goes on. Is there anything like this in your area?

I have always liked the idea of living in a female only boarding house and there are still some in NYC. Many of the 1900s ones had a communal mixed sex space downstairs and then female only upstairs for women that had arrived in NYC and were working, I suppose they moved out once they were married.

I’ve always thought about this and have discussed with a friend our own version of it. I’m quite looking forward!

I used to talk about this longingly with my female friends when the children were small - women and kids in one big house, men in a hut somewhere for light relief. I believe this is how many ancient communities lived.

I'd happily do it again in old age - nice big house, 3-4 friends, live-in carer of some sort. But it would depend on us all outliving our menfolk and you'd have to have a pretty good contract for things like dementia, end of life care etc. My sister and I still have a secret plan for it to happen though.

I can't think of anything worse. This is perhaps based on my experiences of both older female bosses and some older females I encountered through voluntary work. Nothing pleased them, some of their behaviour was downright strange and they often thought they were superior to everyone else. Live among this when Im older, no thank you. I much prefer mixed age groups and sexes within a whole community. However, each to their own, if you think it would work for yourself then go for it.

I've talked about this often over the last few years with my sister and a friend. I think there are still some single female only units in Hampstead Garden Suburb, not suitable for this though

@ssd

Round here the only retirement places are for well off older folk. The sort that doesn't want riff raff and drive mercs. And have cleaners. And maybe golf.

Is that what you mean op?

No I think what I had in mind was more like self contained flats with communal areas. Reading/ craft/ common room/ shared garden with an allotment hopefully. Somewhere you can go and read the sunday papers or take a glass of wine to in the evening and enjoy easy companionship. A general expectation of help given and recieved; feed cats/ water plants/ sign for stuff/ a lift in an emergency.

The benefits of a house share with the privacy of your own space sharing with other community minded people was what I had in mind.

I don't know of any in my area, though I can see it getting more popular and there being more informal ones as there are now with women who are friends living together in what was one of their family homes.

I was talking to my spouse about this recently, how in much later years, if I outlive him and our lodger-friend, that I quite fancy the idea of using our 4-bed that's already largely adapted for physical disabilities to house a few older women who would otherwise be stuck in expensive rentals. Maybe the two larger bedrooms for a couple of women, I'd keep the small one we're in, and the box room for a carer. Might have to put the stairlift and emergency intercoms back in and some other equipment. It would be less private than the OWCH and may have a few more risks, but it's something that I've heard other women doing, I remember there being articles about an uptick of this at the start of lockdown 1, that I think may increase and be a possible option I'd like to explore in future if I'm the last of the 3 of us standing.

I agree that a mixed aged mixed sex group would be more natural and balanced but the reality for most older women is that they'd be regarded as very peripheral to any social group that formed naturally.

The most vibrant women I have ever met were a community of Church of England nuns residing at a priory in Oxfordshire. (Now closed unfortunately.) It was a mostly silent order - but when they were speaking ... Such freedom and wit and mischief and asperity! I longed to be one of them. (Only I lacked religion.)

They worked beyond the priory, of course. And had plenty of interaction with their families and friends. It seemed pretty much perfect.

[quote Marchitectmummy]Have you seen the completed Owch scheme in Barnet?

I've read a fair amount about it as its been in our press a lot, I personally dislike a lot of the design but you are probably the right age to get involved with trying to fund raise / get housing associations on board.

These things don't just happen, you need to be very active. The ladies who were involved with this were incredibly active in bringing on board people to purchase the land and thrn thru codesigned the whole thing. If you are genuinely interested then now is the time to research ans build a group of equally interested people in your area. These ladies are amazing and driven. This took the ladies years on end to get to the built project, I seem to remember 20 years or something like that. I've seen quite a few presentations and articles over the years. Sadly I do remember some of the founders died prior to the projects completion.

www.owch.org.uk/architecture[/quote]
Actually I was googling for communal living for older women and came across them which inspired me to start this thread hoping that there was other similar projects in the UK.

I am genuinely interested but probably not in a building it for myself way. Full time job, young kids etc. I live in the sticks so was hoping to move back to to civilisation. I do hope it becomes more popular though.

I've always said that when dh dies I want to live in a feminist commune. I'm far more interested in it being female only than the age of the women living there. I would happily have children living there (male as well as female), and would happily do some childcare for women who need it. The happiest times of my life have been in fully female environments.

I would definitely be interested in helping to set one up when the time comes for me to want to live that way (I'm only early 40s, and dh is very much alive, so it won't be for some time yet). Although if there are already communities like this around at the time I would probably join one of them rather than go to the effort of setting up one of my own.

I kind of lived in one by default. Small cul de sac of terraced houses in a big city- private road etc. Price and size meant not big enough for families, men seemed to opt for more central, pricier flats, so I think all but one was occupied by either a young single working woman, or an older one nearing retirement.

In some ways it was nice, in others a pain in the arse. Lots of committees, some stronger personalities dictating rules, some who didn’t want anything to do with it. Quite a bit of pressure to “join in” which was a bit annoying.

Too many fucking cats for such small houses too, and there was always cat wars and notes/knocking on doors about your cat being a nuisance or number 10’s pair ganging up..

I wouldn’t do it again.

I like the idea of living Golden Girls style

Im scared of cats but ill water plants

I'm in.
I've thought about this arrangement for retirement. I would totally need my own space - bedroom / bathroom / kitchen / sitting room, with a lockable door to shut the world out but be able to step out my door to a communal garden / green space, a community hall sort of space for meeting up at. The kind of place where you prop your front door open and people pop in for cups of tea or give you a wave as the're on their way out / home.
I loved living in a backpacker hostel in my 20s and envisage it being similar to that.

IMO it’d depend so much on the mix. You’d only need one of those uber-bossy types, who know best about everything, to put a yowling scratchy cat among the pigeons.
Two of those fighting it out about every minute thing, and you’d have a war zone.

I know it’s not the same, but a cat-loving SiL of mine, recently retired from a very senior and responsible job, took on the management of a local animal protection/shelter charity. She didn’t last long - all the petty bitching and in-fighting among a largely retired, entirely female staff, did it for her.

Might add that it came as something of a shock to her, having assumed that she was working with intelligent, grown up women.

@CrazylazyJane

I'm in. I've thought about this arrangement for retirement. I would totally need my own space - bedroom / bathroom / kitchen / sitting room, with a lockable door to shut the world out but be able to step out my door to a communal garden / green space, a community hall sort of space for meeting up at. The kind of place where you prop your front door open and people pop in for cups of tea or give you a wave as the're on their way out / home. I loved living in a backpacker hostel in my 20s and envisage it being similar to that.

Exactly although hopefully more hygenic than the hostels of yore. I remember showering in fit flops because the floor was so disgusting and also so you can take one off and squash the coakroach crawling up the shower wall.

There's always one of those in any mix. There's also always one who tries to make herself feel intelligent/cool by putting you down or more included by excluding you. Always. Death. Taxes. There will always he one.

I have seen a documentary about the Barnet community and one that is in Germany (cannot find a link and it is in French).

I think housing costs especially of new builds may make it more difficult, but as women live longer lives and also hopefully more are not willing to put up with awful men, I hope there are more places such as this over time.

Why female only just put of interest? Is it a safety thing?

I doubt it, I expect it's more of an expectation/generational thing. I know my dad expects my mum to wait on him hand and foot. I can't see him contributing much to communal living!

When I was a kid inthe 80s my elderly great aunt moved into a flat. It was a I think custom built but it looked like a large mansion house but was a couple of houses and a few flats, they were all elderly women (some shared the houses) and it was surrounded by a large communal garden, I’m not sure who it was run by possibly the church but we would go and always knock on other ladies doors to say hello, sit in the garden etc.

Also i think men 5 years older than i am are still out there trying to date women ten yrs younger than i am so if my experience is typical there's a mismatch in what men and women are hoping to achieve. I want peace and quiet and to find a good tribe. I feel like men are not as accepting of the stage of life.

Yeah I don't think men are up for communal living so much. Also agree that men would generally be less satisfied with the idea of living a quiet but happy life without a partner.
Probably massively generalising though.

I also love this idea, also early 40s. Teenage kids, no partner m. I very much hope this becomes a viable option.

I love this idea too (and so would my cats)

Co housing like OWCH is not like general retirement housing. Part of the purpose of co housing is that the ppl who live there whether they own or rent all input into how it’s run & what is and isn’t allowed. In my experience of working with older ppl, they are keen on the idea of co housing but a lot are put off by the work involved. There is a co housing network in the UK cohousing.org.uk/ with info about existing schemes