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Original poster

Handhold needed

17 replies

PostOpIsolation · 26/06/2021 23:55

I had an operation today. Been waiting almost two years as things got disrupted by covid and I felt very lucky to get offered a last minute slot.

When I woke up from the anaesthetic I couldn't stop crying and was bizarrely telling the nurses they were amazing and the government doesn't appreciate them, and I am so lucky to have this operation...

I don't feel lucky now.

Because it was all so last minute I wasn't able to arrange someone to be with me for 24 hours afterwards, as recommended. I live alone and am single so it already seems like a big ask of friends.

I arranged a friend to meet me at the hospital, and another (geographically distant) friend to check in with periodically this evening/in the morning and to summon help if I stop responding. First friend lives extremely close and disappeared for a nap as soon as we got back. Didn't message later when awake. Went for date this evening... Had said he was going to be around this afternoon and to call if I needed anything, health is important, friends should be there for each other, blah blah - not really coming across as sincerely meant now!

I'm in quite a lot of pain still. Op was minor (laproscopy) but they fill you with gas and it's so painful as it slowly works it's way out of your shoulders. Feels like extreme indigestion but all over chest and shoulders and back. Can't lie down or it really hurts! For hours it was painful to breathe. Still is if I move or talk.

I don't think I should be alone but didn't want to miss out on healthcare due to being alone.

I'm feeling like a big unloved worthless painful mess.

I don't know how to actually ask for help and don't want to burden anyone. I don't know what's reasonable. Some friends know I'm not great but haven't offered help so I daren't ask. I can't imagine leaving any of them like this.

Please could I have a handhold tonight?

OP posts:
MissCherryCakeyBun · 27/06/2021 00:10

Sending you lots of hugs and a hand to hold. I had shoulder surgery a few years ago and DH was called to an emergency at work and I was alone overnight and it felt awful so I get where you are coming from.
What painkillers have they sent you home with?

MissCherryCakeyBun · 27/06/2021 00:11

I know it may sound a bit daft but you can always phone the Samaritans too, they are there when you just Ned to talk and have nobody around you to give you that handhold.

nocoolnamesleft · 27/06/2021 00:14

Have you got any peppermint tea? Allegedly helps with the gas.

3littlerabbitsss · 27/06/2021 00:14

Your poor thing! Nothing worse than feeling unwell, I’m the same with not asking for help. How long will you need for recovery after the first 24 hours? Is it worth phoning people and saying you need them?

plominoagain · 27/06/2021 00:18

Hello lovely , have a hand hold from me too. It sounds miserable. Would calling 111 help ? They might be able to suggest ways to make it a little easier ?

spiderlight · 27/06/2021 00:29

That sounds miserable - you poor thing :( Your friend should have stayed with you.

TheCanyon · 27/06/2021 01:05

A couple of weeks ago I took very unwell, while dh was already in hospital too. I put a post up on facebook, literally had someone (several infact) at my door in 5 minutes. I NEVER EVER ask for help from anyone. They took my 4 dc and puppy, packed my bag and sent me to hospital, sorted everything at home, even did my housework Grin

Bargebill19 · 27/06/2021 01:13

This sounds odd and may make you laugh - but I’ve had three laparoscopies. If you can move at all, even just raising your shoulders up and down and burp, it helps shift the gas.

Now the other thing is to take it really easy. No heroic walking to the shops etc for a day or two. If the pain does get very bad - do ring 111 or whatever number the hospital may have given you. Sometimes morphine is needed. (Yep I ignored the above advice and paid for it).

You will be feeling much better soon. Fart and burp!

ChakaDakotaRegina · 27/06/2021 01:40

It’s great that you’ve had the surgery and hopefully this pain will be temporary and worth it in the long run.

Sorry about your friend - some people are not cut out for caring roles! Take it easy. Sending virtual Flowers

DramaAlpaca · 27/06/2021 01:42

Consider your hand firmly held. And have a virtual as well Flowers

Original poster
PostOpIsolation · 27/06/2021 01:57

@TheCanyon

A couple of weeks ago I took very unwell, while dh was already in hospital too. I put a post up on facebook, literally had someone (several infact) at my door in 5 minutes. I NEVER EVER ask for help from anyone. They took my 4 dc and puppy, packed my bag and sent me to hospital, sorted everything at home, even did my housework Grin
That sounds amazing.

I didn't date do that although I considered it. Couldn't bear to worry people that really couldn't come whilst also feeling shite if no one else came.

I hate to ask for help because people are reluctant to give it, I don't have many close friends I can rely on nearby, and I don't want to freak people out or damage friendships by being needy.
Weirdly some people I know who aren't close at all are such lovely people they'd be there for me but I hate to ask!

Drinking peppermint tea when I can face moving enough to boil kettle.
I want to sleep now but not sure I can lie down comfortably...

Thank you all for the handhold.

OP posts:
Original poster
PostOpIsolation · 27/06/2021 02:01

@Bargebill19

This sounds odd and may make you laugh - but I’ve had three laparoscopies. If you can move at all, even just raising your shoulders up and down and burp, it helps shift the gas.

Now the other thing is to take it really easy. No heroic walking to the shops etc for a day or two. If the pain does get very bad - do ring 111 or whatever number the hospital may have given you. Sometimes morphine is needed. (Yep I ignored the above advice and paid for it).

You will be feeling much better soon. Fart and burp!

Moving only seems to shift the has around my chest and make breathing too painful. No burps or farts coming!

I'm knackered.and want to sleep but can't lie down, even propped up, as the pain moves around my chest and I can't breathe properly and am in agony.

I'm sure it wasn't this bad last time.

OP posts:
Bonitalazenia · 27/06/2021 02:41

Aw hugs to you OP!

recall · 27/06/2021 03:27

How’s the pain now ?

Bargebill19 · 27/06/2021 05:55

Here’s hoping you managed to get some sleep and are starting to feel less battered.

Original poster
PostOpIsolation · 27/06/2021 11:06

Thank you.
Managed to sleep sitting up in the end and gradually worked my way down the bed as the pain subsided.
Lot better today.

OP posts:
3littlerabbitsss · 27/06/2021 19:41

Glad to hear it! Take care x

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