Sexuality within marriage

[TentTalk]

I had an interesting conversation with a colleague today, we were talking about sexuality, coming out, relationships etc and I said that for me my sexuality no longer mattered as I was now married with a family so it wasn't something that ever came up. If I had to tick a box, I say I'm bisexual, but as I'm married to a man I don't think I've talked about with anyone (before today) since before I was married. I guess people assume I'm straight? Or people don't even think about it.

I just wondered how others felt about their sexuality within their marriage, is it something you ever think about?

I agree. It's kind of irrelevant really. If you're married I mean. I also feel the same way about clubbing...to me, clubs are a place to show off and meet potential partners. I know there are people who disagree with that...but then why go? To dance? You could join a salsa class for that or something...without the alcohol and drugs.

My sexuality before marriage was greater than my sexuality in marriage.

Agree. Irrelevant for me also. Been in a very long-term relationship with a man in the past, current long-term partner is a woman. I've always known I was attracted to both sexes, I've just never really contemplated being 'Bi' because all that really matters to me is the person I'm with right now. I could see myself one day being back in a relationship with a man were my current relationship to end, but it's not like I miss being with a man or feel that one is superior to the other.

Interestingly, I did find out through a third party that a couple of acquaintances are under the impression that I 'used to be straight, but am now a lesbian', so evidently, other people spend a lot more time thinking about and analysing my sexuality than I do.

Glad it's not just me then!

Interesting your acquaintances think like that XDownwiththissortofthingX. I suspect I'd get a similar reaction from some people.

I'm also glad it's not just me!

According to friends, I was gay but turned straight. I've been with my husband for 13 years, married 9, so any friends that I've made in the past 10 or so years have no idea about my previous relationships.

It now feels like it would be this massive revelation that I've kept secret when it's just not relevant.

But, I did mention an old boyfriend in conversation with my closest friends recently and couldn't bring myself to say about old girlfriend. I'm a bit apprehensive about reactions and deny that under the guise of telling myself it's just not relevant.

Oh this is so true. I've been married to a woman for so long that my previous bisexual life seems unimportant now. To everyone who has known me since we've been together, I'm just seen as a lesbian.