DS (year 1) Won’t do Work at school

[MelG1983]

I have seen a couple of really older threads on similar topics but no solutions and no updated feedback.
I am so worried about my DS and don’t know where to turn next.
He is 5, almost 6 and is in year 1. For the whole of this year the teacher keeps telling us that he isn’t doing his work, mainly writing. He doesn’t even try. Just refuses to pick up his pencil.
In maths and reading he is a whizz and is working above his level in both. In writing he is so far behind (although I know he can do it if he tries to).
We’ve had a few conversations with his teacher, he’s lost play times (so he can catch up, and he then dies it pretty quickly), lost screen time etc. At home he loses screen time, extra treats and we’ve even put him to bed when he gets home (really harsh I know, please no Mammy bashing I feel bad enough as it is).
I really don’t know what to do next or where to turn to.
At home he is generally a pretty good kid.
Has anyone been in this situation and can offer any kind of guidance in what we can do next? I’m desperate.

I would practice the spelling and creating sentences aloud. I would encourage him to draw and play with plastercine to build up his muscles.

If he genuinely is capable then ask him why he doesn't do it? It isn't the best attitude that he isn't doing what teacher asks but I expect he will get there as he matures.

Don't let the teacher bully you into feeling bad or make your DS feel bullied and under pressure.

This is not nice for either of you or beneficial in any way

@MelG1983 no I am not a bully , I am explaining to you that putting your child to bed as a punishment for struggling to write at school is bordering on abusive not to upset you, but for you to realise what you are doing is wrong. In the nicest possible way you are not the priority here, your ds is.

No one even knew my DS was slightly dyslexic till he was 12 and even then they refused to do a test at first and were shocked when it showed he has very mild dyslexia because he hid it so well as he can read and write albeit very messily. He's allowed to use a PC for his GCSEs and future exams

Be kind and gentle to your DS at home.

It's his safe place.

No pressure just fun and cuddles for now

And my DS went to excellent schools he just slipped through the net as it just wasn't so obvious.

There are sliding scales of dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism etc all sorts. Some are barely noticeable others are glaringly obvious.

I would leave the school stuff behind when you are at home for now.
Don't push writing but see if you can squeeze in some fun drawing and writing (Thomas magazine etc).
Hopefully you will find a change of class in year 2 he will be entirely different.

OP I would ask for a discussion with his teacher and the school SENCO, just to start exploring if there are some underlying reasons (eg hypermobility as other posters have said, or some additional needs)
You can go to your GP and ask for referral for a development paediatrician review - if there are concerns (and you will need to explain to your GP why you are seeking this), then this can be the first step in trying to figure out what is making this difficult for him.

We were in the same place in Y1 - now three years later, we are looking at ADHD (and hypermobility already known). DS has the understanding and the ideas, he just finds it incredibly hard to get them down on paper!

Just to add, I also have the issue of punishment / motivation having zero effect - for my DS, that’s down to his ADHD brain. Now I realise that, it takes a lot of the stress out of implementing sanctions or rewards that don’t seem to make any difference.

I absolutely agree with all the posters suggesting it might be an underlying SEND issue. That's also worth thinking about/exploring.

And, yes, this is quite common with dyspraxia and ADHD.

You might think you'd notice but family's are amazingly good at adapting themselves around their members - in a way that schools just can't. Which is why sometimes these traits become an issue only when the child enters the more rigid structures of formal education.

DS has physical problems writing, until we had private assessments done in Year 4 the school insisted he was lazy, or that boys were slower to learn to write and it would be fine if he tried harder. Obviously the kids in his class weren't kind either. This led to him self harming as his self esteem was so low.

Please don't punish a child for finding something difficult.

Hello, how is your ds doing now? I have the exact same issue. My ds (yr 1) is refusing to do his work. I questioned SEN but the school insist its not. It's so stressful!