What makes you an alcoholic?

[Bobothemojo]

Talking with some friends. We all usually drink at weekends but the not in the week. No one drinks more than the recommended units per week.

I commented that I 'needed' a drink mid week last week after a stressful day and friend reckons this verges on alcoholic behaviour. I suppose what I meant was I wanted one , I could have gone without but was absolutely using it as a means to relax and switch off.

I enjoy alcohol but that doesn't make me an alcoholic does it

@traumatisednoodle

Using alcohol to switch off isn't great especially mid-week

Rubbish. Since when has a drink midweek = alcoholic? I often have one then if I fancy and I doubt if I drink anywhere near the recommended maximum level in any month let alone week!

@MrsTerryPratchett

I have a very simple formula (ignoring physical addiction).

Do you drink?

Does it cause significant issues for you?

Do you continue to drink knowing that?

Three yeses and you have a drinking problem.

What about "does it cause issues for anyone else?"

Imv if you can give or take whether you have a drink or not you are not an alcoholic.
If you need your regular tipple you are an alcoholic.
I could give up chocolate or caffeine much more easily then I could give up drinking. I drink regularly , but not a lot, I would say I have alcoholic tendencies. I'd struggle to give itup but could if I had to, say for medical reasons.

I agree with your friend that your comment about ‘needing a drink after a stressful day’ does verge on alcoholic behaviour. But that does not mean that you are necessarily an alcoholic.

As it turns out, it was really a want not a need and actually you could have done without it but you just fancied a drink.

I think the reason your friend mentioned alcohol behaviour is because alcoholics do sometimes use alcohol to numb negative emotions and so the comment/ behaviour you showed could be seen as similar to an alcoholic’s.

To me, it sounds as though you made a light-hearted comment without really thinking anything of it and then so did your friend. I wouldn’t think too far into what your friend said, if she said it in passing and if you feel in control of your drinking.

I very much doubt you are an alcoholic.

One way to find out is to stop drinking for a month. If you can do this with little problem, you are not alcoholic.

Real alcoholics will not be able to stop for a week or even a couple of days. If they do manage to stop, they will be utterly miserable and counting the hours and minutes until they can drink again.

I think your friend is being OTT - it's perfectly possible to have had a really shit day and then have one drink as a treat - the same way you might scoff a lot of Ben & Jerry's, for instance. It becomes a problem when you always self-soothe using alcohol and nothing else works.

MrsTerryPratchett's 3 questions are basically a very cut-down version of the AUDIT, which is a tool that measures whether you have an unhealthy dependency on alcohol. It doesn't just look at how much you have but also about how you use it, whether you can do without it and whether your use impacts your daily life and relationships. Alcohol dependence is a complex beast.

Only you can know how you are using alcohol - always be honest with yourself. The label 'alcoholic' isn't a helpful one, but it's useful shorthand - as it happens, my late husband did end up the 'classic' stereotype alcoholic.

I knowingly drink to switch off sometimes, not often but maybe on a Thurs or Fri every 6 weeks or so (really not often!). Anyway I will have like half an inch of wine in a glass. Its a really nice way to have the effects of relaxation without drinking a whole glass.

I think the issue is alcoholism/alcoholic has a lot of negative connotations. There is the obvious kind - that comes with secretive drinking, denial, frequently being drunk, but there is also the other kind - socially acceptable e.g. no behaviour change, your '1 can of cider a night before bed' type, which in the long term, depending on your lifestyle, can cause health issues.

For me, I think thats more alcohol dependence, which I look on as - do you regularly replace calories in your diet with calories from alcohol? Because calories from alcohol are empty calories and over time you can become nutritionally deficient and very tired.

If you are dependent then you are an alcoholic. But you can have problem drinking without having a dependency.

Enjoying a glass midweek is neither, in my view, and in no way comparable with the problems experienced by alcoholics and those around them.

A good thought experiment I once heard: how would you react if the world’s alcohol supply suddenly evaporated - permanently? Some wouldn’t care, some would even be happy. Quite a lot of us would be pissed off to varying degrees. But if your reaction is despair, and “how will I get through life now” then you probably have a problem.

I’m sorry but half an inch in a glass @MistySkiesAfterRain?

That made me laugh. It’s fine to have a glass. Oliver Cromwell won’t come knocking.

@SmidgenofaPigeon there was no judgement here, different strokes for different folks. It doesnt interact too well with meds I have to take.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

I’m sorry but half an inch in a glass *@MistySkiesAfterRain*?

That made me laugh. It’s fine to have a glass. Oliver Cromwell won’t come knocking.

Yes I must say that seemed a bit over the top. You are definitely allowed a full glass!

Just seen what you say about meds - probably should have mentioned that as your PP now makes sense!