16yoDD making GP appt for her 15yo friend

[HeliSky]

My 16yo DD has told me tonight that one of her best friends, who I know, thinks they have an STD after having sex. The friend is 15yo with very strict parents.

DD is trying to get her friend to have her symptoms checked out. There are apparently no sexual health clinics in the friend's area that will see under 16s without parental consent, but she can see her GP without parental consent.

The friend does not want to make an appointment so DD has said she will phone up the friend's GP surgery and make the appt for her. She said she's checked and she can do this. DD and another friend are going to go along to the appointment with the friend for support but won't go in. I'm proud of DD for supporting her friend. I don't have any concerns that DD is pretending the appt is for her friend and that it's actually for her.

Yet, for some reason I can't quite fathom, I feel uncomfortable at her making the GP appointment for her friend. DD has autism and has her own problems going on (not sex-related!) so perhaps I'm over-protective at the moment. Do I have any actual cause for concern?

None at all.

Mine would do the same. Some teens are easily embarrassed.

I don't think so OP.
Either of them are entitled to make an appointment or even turn up at a sexual health clinic and be seen and treated anonymously either way, regardless of being under 16. The NHS and sexual services charities absolutely do offer this so I would have her double check. It is also possible to order at home test kits.

I don't think this falls out of the remit of things we would do for friends in these circumstances at all though. The sooner she is seen the better and it's wonderful that your DD is a supportive friend and also understands the importance of this issue and can be open with you about it.

Sounds like she is approaching helping her friend in a very mature level headed way

I'm horrified that the sexual health clinic won't see an under 16 without parental consent.

Your dd sounds like a great friend.

I think it's ok. It's not like if it weren't for your dd helping her she would turn to her parents, she would probably ignore her symptoms and cause herself anxiety or if they are really an STD get sicker than she needs to, until she secretly contacted the GP herself.

That's madness about the parental consent thing- how ridiculous.

Lots of places will have online ordering kits for free for certain age groups- might be worth a quick Google if she's struggling to book an appointment?

Your daughter sounds like a good friend, and very responsible. You should be proud :)

Sexual health clinics do see people under 16 without parental consent so that's worth phoning up about.

’I'm horrified that the sexual health clinic won't see an under 16 without parental consent’

This. That’s utterly appalling. Growing up, plenty of my friends used sexual health clinics to access the pill because they didn’t want to risk bumping into gossipy neighbours or friends of their parents at the local GP.

I’d be proud of your DD.

It’s possible that ones in her area have closed - so many have with budget cuts.

I would be really proud of my DD for helping and supporting her friend through a difficult time.

Well done OP, you've got a good one there!

Thank you all for putting my mind at rest.
We've gone through a very difficult time recently, we're in the middle of a legal investigation about failure to safeguard DD ongoing against her school, after she was recently in hospital for a few days. So I think my overprotective shield is on high alert.

And also tbh, selfishly I'm also thinking 'oh good god not something else to worry about' as I really care about the friend, she jokes that I'm her extra mother, and am concerned about her. I've been doing some googling myself when I have some urgent things of my own to do.

In terms of doing STD tests via the post, hearing the details from my DD it sounds to me that her friend really needs a physical examination or at least to talk about it to a Dr. Symptoms include finding sexual intercourse very painful (with 2 different partners now) and bleeding afterwards.

I am very pleased that my DD felt able to talk to me so openly about this. She hasn't had sex yet and this was a good way to talk through the importance of being both emotionally and physically ready when having sex. It also means she's well aware of the risks and responsibilities.

DD is a fantastic friend and very mature about this, and I am very proud of her.

Like others am dubious about the sexual health clinics in her area not seeing under 16s, so I'll be checking that on Google shortly.

Has she got any other symptoms? I wouldn't jump to the conclusion of it being an STD on those two symptoms (I'm not saying you have)