Is this true about divorces in the 60's?

[ParadiseLaundry]

We've just had a visit from MIL who was talking about a family member who was married with a child. He then got divorced and never ever saw his child again as in the words of MIL 'they thought it was best in those days if the parents got divorced that the child didn't ever see their father again'. This was in the 1960's.

I was .

Just wondered if anyone else had experienced this and if it was really true? It obviously seems very shocking by today's standards.

I think it was partly men walking away though

My parents divorced in the 70’s. I was the only child in a small school with divorced parents and I remember it being a scandal and a source of shame for all involved. Amazing how much times have changed.

A friend of mine discovered after her father's death that he had been married and divorced before marrying my friend's mum (mum has also passed away but they married in the 60s) and that she has half siblings who she never knew existed, they probably have no idea she exists either. Was a huge shock.

My dad and step mum married in the early 80’s. My step sisters lived with him and only saw their father sparodically and never changed their surname

Wow I’ve never heard of that before I’m speechless!

Can't say I'm surprised. My parents divorced in the 80s and I saw my DF for a few hours every other Saturday. Similar for other people my age with divorced parents.

I first met my half siblings (Dad from 1st marriage) when they were both 18 and "allowed" to speak to him.

I was 14 and it was awful. He had tried to overturn the ruling but was banned from their lives. We moved overseas when I was 6 (they would have been 10/11) so there was a further issue.

He used to send cards and they got returned.

It was bloody awful and scarred my teen years too as he overcompensated by giving them everything and they took all they could, but with no real relationship.

Everyone lost out.

Claire Tomalin the historian/author describes her parents divorcing and her mother refusing to let her see her father. He tried to go to court to get access . Claire was persuaded by her mother to swear that she didn't want to see him. After a couple of years she found her mother too emotionally manipulative and tracked down her father and went to live with him. She still felt guilty about the way her father had been treated when he died in his 90's.

The two school friends I had at school in the 60s whose parents were divorced both saw their respective fathers regularly.

I had a friend in the 70s whose mother remarried twice and kept adding to the names so last time I saw her she had a triple-barrelled name!

Separately, years later a mate in the pub lived with his girlfriend and her two young children until she buggered off and left them both with him. They weren't even married!

My parents divorced in 1970. Me and my siblings never saw my mother again because my father wouldn't a!low it. I remember someone from the court asking us who we wanted to live with, we'd already been schooled by him and his girlfriend to say we wanted to live with him and call her mummy. He was granted custody, married his girlfriend then put us in care within a couple of years . It took us 18 years to find our mother who had gone on to marry another 3 times and have more children. It turns out that neither of them really wanted 4 children under 7. Selfish bastards!

I have a friend who's mother left (unusual in those days). He didn't see her again until his early 30s and he wasn't allowed to tell anyone at school that his parents had divorced as it was too shameful (mid 1970s I suppose).

Pretty common for the era I think. So was saying "so and so doesn't have a dad".

My parents divorced in the mid 70’s and straight after the divorce (she was already pregnant by my new stepdad after numerous affairs), my mother moved us away without telling my Dad where we were going. It only due to both my Dad and stepdad being in the Forces that he managed to find us 6 years later. He asked if he could see us but my mum wouldn’t let him. Despite me being 13 and my brother 14, we were not told or asked. I only met him again in my late 30’s and it really was too late. My mother was still so bitter that my Dad walked out on her (after her cheating on him ) that she told me she’d cut me off if I met him, and she did!

I don’t remember being ashamed or stigmatised due to my parents divorcing but I do remember being jealous of all my friends living with their real Dads.

My parents divorced around 1968. We saw my dad fairly regularly until he and SM moved across the country. After that they had 2 dc together and I saw him one more time before he died 5 years ago. This was his choice and my DM and DSD never prevented him from contacting us.

@Cornishsky

My parents divorced in the 70’s. I was the only child in a small school with divorced parents and I remember it being a scandal and a source of shame for all involved. Amazing how much times have changed.

I experienced the same in the 60s, only it was my mother who left the family home. My father got custody as she was labelled “an unfit mother”. I didn’t see her for two years, things changed when my father remarried. Affects the children for life.

Yes, I'd say this is true

My parents split up in 1972 when I was a baby. Both went on to remarry others and my 'step-dad' brought me up as his own and adopted me. I wasn't told until I was 14. Back in those days, it was considered more normal to have a proper family unit. I last saw my real dad when I was 2.

Story doesn't end there though. I'm now 49. I've been in contact with my biological father for 5 months now and we've met up and I'll be seeing him again next month. We chat every week on the phone and message most days.

Am I bitter? Not really. Do I understand it was of it's time? Yeah. Am I happy with the life I've had? Yes. Do I think people made decisions back then that wouldn't be considered today? Absolutely

And am I happy to have my real dad back in my life again? Absolutely

Sounds right from my experience at school in those times. When parents separated, mothers remarried and the kid would not see their dad again (new dad now), and would just pop up at school one day with a new surname.