Children are draining the life from me

[CastMeAdrift]

I find my kids, 3 and 5 such hard work. Nothing is enjoyable. It always turns into arguments and screaming. My youngest is so clingy and screams blue murder at the drop of a hat and wants me to do everything for him. My eldest is so emotional and jealous and controlling. She told me today she was going to walk off the cliff and die as I hadn’t listen to her. I just don’t know what to say to this?! I try to acknowledge their emotions and not shut them down. I try so hard and listen to and read endless things on how to deal with highly emotional children and how to listen to them etc. But I just feel like I fail everyday. Also neither sleep well so with crap sleep in pregnancy I feel I haven’t had a good nights sleep for 6 years. Im exhausted.

Anytime I attempt to do something nice it goes to shit and now I just no longer want to try. It’s just a relentless Groundhog Day of whinging and fighting. I feel like my life force is draining away more each day.

I’m at a total loss and feel so overwhelmed trying to meet their needs and work and run a house and life admin.

I don’t even know why I’m posting. Some days I think can’t cope and can’t face years and years of this. Other times I panic about the future and think Im fucking these children up with my incompetence as a parent.

I don’t see how I can carry on.

Are they at school / nursery? Do you have a partner?

Oh bless that sounds hard. I’m not going to be much help- mine are 12 and 11 and I’m having a day like that too. Although it’s been a long while now since it was an everyday feeling!

My eldest said almost exactly the same thing a few years ago. And the dynamic between them was similar. One thing that helped was establishing a 1:1 time with each of them. I’d spend time with the younger one putting her to bed and listening to her day and tell the older one that he was allowed stay up and read because he was older. And after putting her to bed, I’d sit with him and hear about his book.

I bet you’re doing better than you think.

Hi, Reading your post was like hearing myself talk and my exact thoughts right now. I have an almost 5 year old and almost 3 year old. 2 girls who do nothing but fight all day. All. Day. Long. I cannot even begin to explain how much they fight and whinge and follow me around and Compete with each other. My youngest is a little bit more relaxed by my god my eldest is controlling and jealous and ocd and high maintenance and every annoying trait rolled into one tiny dependent person.

I see my day as a shift like I have to just reach 8pm for the shift to be over but its dull and relentless. Playing is dull because my eldest wi tell you where to sit and stand and how to do things and what to say and how to say it and I just thi k well wth am I even doing playing with you when you then??? Everything I ask her to do is met with some sort of negotiation and it's draining the hell out of me.

I don't know if this is the norm but you're not alone, could relate to every single point you made. I find being out helps, even if it's a drive in the car with some music on. Does your youngest go to nursery fl time? The evening are probably harder regardless though.

I'm hoping someone with older kids csn give some hope of it becoming more ebjoyable!hang in there

It’s just a relentless Groundhog Day of whinging and fighting.

Well it does feel like that sometimes. But once the younger one gets to school it will be easier. And in the meantime, you are not messing them up - you are doing your best and you are all surviving.

But yes, it is frustrating to think how much more fun and enjoyment we could all get from our short precious lives if our much loved children could stop being utter gobshites. Even just for one day a week.