If you have experience managing people

[GorgeousLadyofWrestling]

Please can I ask for tips?

I work for a very small start up, and I’m in a very small team - about five people. Our head of department was managed out because they really could not do the role. We’ll be looking for a new head of department but it’s very specialised and will take time.

In the meantime I’ve been partially promoted. Not to head of department - because that’s way above my skill set. But to sort of team leader. The head of department is likely to be in the US as we’re expanding there and it makes sense. So even when they are on board, it seems like I will still be team leader.

My issue is - it’s hard to step up to this because I don’t know how to sensitively help lead a team I was previously part of without pissing them off, stepping on toes, etc etc. It feels quite strange and awkward and I know someone I was close to in my team is now upset she wasn’t asked.

I’m scared of looking incompetent to the CEO who promoted me, I want to be assertive without being a dick, I accept work relationships will need to change and I also know this person I was close to can be difficult to manage at times.

This is still very new (happened friday) but I generally feel overwhelmed and stressed. I am 41, very competent in what I actually do but have not been a team leader before and feel out of my depth.

I just used to wave my ruler at them

Keep it factual, eg just sorting out lunchtimes etc and don't appear to be bossy. It'll be fine, you get on with them and there are only minor issues to sort.

Don't be friends with the people you manage, don't even try. It doesn't end well.

All you can do is be yourself, and lead in your own style. I would recommend supreme positivity, a good sense of humour, and encouraging people to talk to you and ask for help if needed but also be confident in their ability to do their own job. Show you trust them but are there to support if they ask for it.

Dismiss any jealousy, it will pass, and there are always going to be people promoted from within in any job.

Congratulations! Be proud of yourself.

It's hard to transition from colleague to manager and your relationship with your team does change. Sorry.

Set up a structure ASAP. Weekly 1:1 with each team member, 15-minute team meeting every morning or first thing Monday & last thing Friday, more formal team meeting on a regular basis (monthly is about right).

Set up a monthly free training slot. You can all do a webinar together for free or assign people to do a presentation on their specialist area.

If you have HR, ask them for a run-down of all the policies you need to know, e.g. absence reporting, performance management. Ask them for management training too.

I could have written your post! Similar happened to me last year - I started leading a team of people who were previously my peers.

Things I learned:

• find a set of peers at your new level who you can go to for support (and to vent!) - this might need to be outside your organisation. Or a coach or mentor.
• involve and consult people but don't feel the pressure to make decisions that everyone is happy with (otherwise you'll never get anything done!). I made a small but significant decision early on to get over my fear of doing this, and it helped establish my new role in the team.
• you'll constantly feel that they all hate you and think they could do a better job. It's probably not true and even if it's partially true - the job will undoubtedly be harder than they realise. There are always things your team doesn't see.
• be approachable and care about people's wellbeing but beware getting over-involved. You can't be responsible for other people's happiness.
• trust your own judgment. You're in the job because you've earned it.
• make sure you ask for a payrise.
• find the right balance between giving people structure and certainty but empowering them to make decisions. This is really difficult!

Realistically it might take you a few months to find your feet. But you will, I promise.