Am at my wits end with 9 yr old dd. Every day feels like a battle at the moment.
Six months ago dd was a generally upbeat 8 year old, into playing with friends, playing with Lego etc, would play board games with us, go for days out with us etc.
Now she doesn't seem interested in anything much apart from screen time (which we've always rationed). Every day is a constant demand for screen time with endless sulking when its denied.
Every suggested activity is met with flat refusal. She shuts herself in her room either listening to music or reading. (At least she's reading).
(School is fine according to her teachers, she's doing really well academically and (apparently) socially.)
She still likes playing with her friends but seems to go into a sulk if things don't go exactly her way.
Eg dd chose to have a day out with her friend and a sleepover for her birthday. Half way through the day went into a sulk for hours.
She chose a day out over half term with her friend - same thing.
She really wasn't like this before.
She seems to have lost all ability to compromise or be reasonable. Endless sulking if she's asked to do anything she doesn't want to do - eg getting dressed, doing homework, brushing teeth etc.
We don't overload her with activities - she only does swimming, cubs and a drama club. Even the drama club (which she asked to go to) she no longer likes as she doesn't like the part she was given in the play.
I asked some friends how they manage and most confessed that what saved them was their kids doing lots of gym/dance/sports clubs. It gives them something structured to do at weekends, tires them out and they earn their screen time.
Dd flatly refuses to do any of these anymore. She used to do after school clubs in gym and drama but everything stopped in March 2020 and isn't likely to restart. She used to do a sport but gave it up at the same time.
We're tried talking calmly to her about considering other's feelings, not taking anger out on others (eg her friends), trying to explain what is making you feel sad/angry to see if others can help etc.
We've talked about the importance of patience, compromise, empathy etc. She seems to understand it and be sorry but the next day its the same thing all over again.
Dp says to leave her to her own devices and she'll get so bored she'll learn to compromise. I just want a calm, happy household again.