Boy tried to strangle my child

[purpleme12]

At after school care (nothing to do with school by the way) a boy tried to strangle my child.
Which is not the first time
But apparently today he did it once then apologised then did it agai he's only 5
Her dad kicked off then he got there
What is the right response to this? What should we do/say and expect?

@purpleme12

When her dad mentioned to the grown up that this boy shouldn't be here around children, they said it's not as simple as that there are proceedures and things that need to be followed I don't know the process/what these procedures

Actually, I think it is very simple. They need to made a safeguarding referral. This sounds a bit like fobbing off to me.

Hope your DD is OK this morning.

Hello everyone
Does anyone know
Can you make a formal complaint to Ofsted about how something like this was dealt with? Is that possible?
And what would happen if someone made a complaint like this to them?

You can do www.gov.uk/government/organisations/ofsted/about/complaints-procedure but also through the Local Authority Safeguarding Officer.

Thinking about it, you'd have to complain to the actual childcare provider first anyway wouldn't you
Even though her dad's kicked off in person and by phone (he picks her up each time) we haven't sat down and and wrotea complaint

@PerciphonePuma

I would've wanted her home with me tonight after that. Poor girl.

Yeah, I'd say this is sufficient to break any contract you may have with the care provider. I'd also call social services and ask for an investigation to take place. If a child in school did this it would considered an extremely serious matter

If op is co parenting well and the dad is a good father then its perfectly right that dd stayed with him and stuck to routine yesterday. Coparenting can be difficult but if at all suitable you have to trust the dad to be there for her. You cant sweep in wherever you want or feel like it. Its yet another difficult part of these situations, accepting that you cant control everything or be there for everything. I coparent had found it hard to reconcile myself to this at first but often its more about you than the child. You wanting to be the comforter and get the comfort of actually seeing child is ok. Obviously serious illness or hospitalisation i would expect to join dad or be present.

Slightly off topic i know but that comment just really struck me. Op is worried enough as it is and im sure you meant it in an empathetic way but it could be interpreted as the op doing something wrong or not being a good enough parent which simply isnt true. It can be very hard not being there for your child everyday/all the time but it csn be one consequence of relationship breakdown.
The child will be just fine without mum once they have one loving parent there.

Obviously that all goes out the window if ex is a genuinely abusive person, addict etc. My ex is a twat, but still a good dad.

@Smallfry79 thank you

i've phoned round childminders for other options there's only one with a space but turns out she says she doesn't want to leave there because she doesn't want to leave her friends.

Does the child belong to the care providers maybe

Why did the boy strangle her. What happened before that.

How do you know your DS didn't kick him first or something that she's keeping to herself esp now there is so much attention coming her way.

Bit strange this DS would strangle her for no apparent reason.

Wow
For reference my child won't even fight back as she's so scared of getting told off
But thank you for that response

You can contact Ofsted and tell them everything and they will know what to do
You can also talk to them about next steps and the potential for involving social services etc