I can’t cope with my mother anymore and desperately need some advice. It’s got to the point it’s affecting my mental health.
Background is she was a single teenage mother when she had me. She’s had a series of crap relationships, no job or career. Went on to have three more kids with three awful men.
She seems to regard me as her friend and confidante rather than her daughter. There are no boundaries. She has two issues she moans to me about constantly. I have given her the same advice for years but she just ignores it.
For example, she is in a very unhappy relationship, has been for years. I saw her on Saturday & the first thing she did was start crying about how she’s ruining her like with this man, can’t bear it etc etc We’ve had this conversation since I was 15 and she met this bloke & moved him into our home. I’ve told her they need to separate (they’re not married) but I know she won’t ever do anything about it.
I’m so worn down with it all. I don’t want to hear about the same old problems when I know she’ll never do anything about it. Saw her briefly this morning and once again she was crying this time about her other problem which she’s also had for years but won’t do anything about.
She never seems to ask how I am but just vents at me. I don’t consider her a mother as she’s never provided me with any emotional support or affection. I think she literally sees me as her friend which I don’t want to be. I have my own family and my own job and don’t have the emotional headspace to keep dealing with her. I wish she’d get a job or some friends but she has neither.
I saw a therapist who said my mum hasn’t moved on from being the 17 year old girl who had a baby. Yet she does provide support for my three brothers so I know she can be a mother to them.
I’m trying to reduce contact with her but I know this will upset her. I’m scared to tell her how I feel 
as we don’t have a typical mother/daughter relationship and I’ve never been able to confide in her about my problems or worries.
Any advice gratefully received.