Older/Adult DC and holidays

minnimiss · 2021-06-21T07:03:46+00:00

I'm just wondering at what age your DC stopped going on holiday with you? DC will be 20 and 18 next year and I'm thinking that might be the last year they will both want to come? Not that I don't enjoy having them with us, I like their company. I'm just curious really. We have had the odd weekend break just the two of us which was fun but it's hard to imagine our main holiday as a couple and not a family.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 21/06/2021 08:05

Mine are 20 and do a mixture of holidays with friends and holidays/weekends with us. Their friends seem to do the same ... I don’t think many of them turn down a free holiday

Auntienumber8 · 21/06/2021 08:42

DS 20 just had a holiday with his GF in a log cabin in the woods, I made some Evil Dead jokes but he had no idea what I was talking about :). He has always said he will happily go away with us for a free holiday. I would happily go on holiday with his GF as well as she is a lovely girl but wonder if paying for her fully is a stretch too far when it’s a big holiday.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/06/2021 08:51

We found that into at least early 20s they’d nearly always like to come - as long as it was somewhere that appealed - and we were paying!

A dd in late 30s (long term partnered) recently went with dh on a city break he fancied, which I couldn’t go on. Thoroughly enjoyed by both.

ApolloandDaphne · 21/06/2021 08:52

I've just come back from a holiday with DH and our two DDs. They are 23 and 28. They love to still come on holiday with us!

ApolloandDaphne · 21/06/2021 08:54

I should also have said that they go on holiday by themselves too, not exclusively with us.

AutoGroup · 21/06/2021 09:00

I think, assuming you have a normal functional family, they'll come all the time the destinations are attractive and you're paying. Also the holidays need to be short enough that they're not using all their leave entitlement if they're working.

My DC come and I very much enjoy their company, but I'm under no illusions that they'd be keen to come for a week in Bognor or that they'd join me on the Algarve if they had to pay for themselves. Which is all fine by me. If it's a choice between me or their friends/partners, I wouldn't expect to "win".

Ragwort · 21/06/2021 09:12

I should think if you pay then they are happy to carry on having a holiday with you , my friend still treats her children (early 30s to a holiday each year).

As a teenager though I stopped going on family holidays around 13/14 (just found them dull and prepared to stay home with DGPs and my part time job and meeting up with friends.). Although as an adult I have been away with my DM for a few holidays - spa / city breaks etc.

I'm not desperate to carry on having holidays with my 20 year old DS, mainly because even trying to find a holiday both DH and I enjoy is not easy - we all have totally different interests and expectations about holidays. DH and DS do enjoy a skiing or golf holiday together, but I wouldn't choose to go. .

YellowFish12 · 21/06/2021 09:25

Mid-thirties. Still go away with my parents if they are going somewhere good and also have a weekend or two separately with mum and dad.

They pay. their final salary pensions + paid off house means they have more spare cash than I do with my mahoosive mortgage.

LemonRoses · 21/06/2021 09:30

Ours come with us still. If you’re paying and it’s somewhere nice or for a special event, they turn up very happily. Nowadays it tends more to long weekends away rather than a fortnight because of their limited leave, but we’ve a week in September when two are joining us with their partners. Oldest is 28.

Sometimesfraught82 · 21/06/2021 09:36

@Auntienumber8

DS 20 just had a holiday with his GF in a log cabin in the woods, I made some Evil Dead jokes but he had no idea what I was talking about :). He has always said he will happily go away with us for a free holiday. I would happily go on holiday with his GF as well as she is a lovely girl but wonder if paying for her fully is a stretch too far when it’s a big holiday.

Case by case I think Ie if you know that her parents won’t or can’t contribute a penny and she’s at uni and not earning and I could afford it - I’d contribute heftily but she would have to contribute something.

If working or you know her family could easily afford and they support her financially - then she pay!

Sometimesfraught82 · 21/06/2021 09:37

@YellowFish12

Mid-thirties. Still go away with my parents if they are going somewhere good

and also have a weekend or two separately with mum and dad.

They pay. their final salary pensions + paid off house means they have more spare cash than I do with my mahoosive mortgage.

Out of interest is it just you? Or your partner and or children?

30degreesandmeltinghere · 21/06/2021 09:40

Dd is 32 and having 3 trips with us this year!!.
Ds 26 is coming on 2!!

olidora63 · 21/06/2021 09:54

My children all in 20s would come away if it was a free holiday involved😀and somewhere nice ! They all would go away with friends as well . Problem is there isn’t any chance of a decent holiday abroad in the foreseeable future .

Kinsters · 21/06/2021 11:18

@Auntienumber8

DS 20 just had a holiday with his GF in a log cabin in the woods, I made some Evil Dead jokes but he had no idea what I was talking about :). He has always said he will happily go away with us for a free holiday. I would happily go on holiday with his GF as well as she is a lovely girl but wonder if paying for her fully is a stretch too far when it’s a big holiday.

My family don't really do family holidays anymore but the rare occasions my boyfriend (now DH) was always invited and paid for. Same for me with DH's family. Often it wouldn't make that much difference to the cost I don't think as if you'll be getting a hotel room/room in a rental for your ds anyway then there'd be a minimal cost to adding another (unless he has a brother he'd normally share with).

We always paid travel ourselves. I guess food for an extra person could be a big expense if you're eating out every night.

Mydogisagentleman · 21/06/2021 12:53

DD is probably going to take my place to Spain in September assuming it will be green
She was going to go to Portugal which is where he is now, but her passport has run out.
She will come when we go to a birthday party weekend in August but pretty much does her own thing

emmathedilemma · 21/06/2021 13:05

I don't think i went away with mine once I left school at 18 and I'm not sure if i went with them before that. I tended to do things with groups / organised activities instead.

AppleSouffle · 21/06/2021 13:11

I haven’t been abroad with my parents since I left home for university at 18. They never offered and I never expected or even considered it.
I would pay for my DC until they are working and then expect them to fund themselves if they want to cone along. I can see that if I want them to continue to holiday with us I may have to bribe them by paying!