Would you make other arrangements?

[LemonSherbetFancies]

Neighbours daughter who is 26 is helping us with childcare over the summer as we urgently needed it after prior plans fell through.
She has now informed me she has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. DP has it so I know how delibitating it can be. She said nothing has changed in terms of her availability and enthusiasm etc but in reality it will do.
I am now nervous about the responsibility we are giving her. Would it be wrong to make other arrangements? The kids are school aged and fairly independent.

How old are your children? I know you've said school age but that could be 4, could be 16. This would be key in my decision making for this one.

If they are 8+ I would not be concerned, under that it depends on the kids, how independent are they?

7 and 8. Very independent.
I just worry she won't keep up with them, be too tired to engage etc.

The poor thing. I would let it run until it becomes clear she can't do the job properly.

She's 26, not a child. Can you not trust her to make her own decisions?

As I said, my DP has it and can barely walk some of the time.
I also know how tired he gets.
It's not about trusting her. I just feel anxious that she won't be able to keep up with the kids and the various other issues that may occur.

How does she feel she will cope? How is she doing now? Do you have a back up option if she needed a day or 2 off? I wouldn't cut her out totally at this stage, unless she requested this herself.

Does she still want to do it OP? Trust her to tell you if it becomes too much. Early diagnosis is good and she will have pain management won't she?

I would go along with her and try to support unless it became clear that she was too disabled.

She thought she could do it before the diagnosis, I realise it can have debilitating effects but surely she knows that and has/will play round those accordingly? A diagnosis doesn’t mean that she’s immediately going to get worse?

She’s 26, I think you need to trust her to know her own mind. Tell her if she ever feels it’s too much to please be up front.

She still wants to do it and seems positive. I just hope she will be ok.
I know everyone is different but DP is good for nothing some days. He is also in the early stages of diagnosis so I have first hand knowledge of what it is like.

Just because they're both in early stages of diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean they will have the same experiences .

I think I'd be happy to go ahead but make it really clear you want her to be honest with you about if she is having a bad day and be supportive about this. Perhaps have a proper sit down catch up after the first two or three days, once she's got a feel for your kids/their levels of energy and ask her how it's going? Or maybe your DH could do that?