10 year old swore at DS 9

[TheLovelinessOfDemons]

They were playing a game online, and in voice chat, the other boy is DS's friend from school, apparently another friend invited this friend and he had go off Minecraft, DS kicked him from the game because he wasn't doing anything. He called DS a bastard and a worthless piece of shit. I think think the first is disproportionate and the second is horrible. Especially as DS has self-esteem issues anyway. DS has asked if I was going to tell the friend's mum. Should I?

I would but don’t be surprised if mum is defensive. They pick it up from home (my dc will swear occasionally but not in an insulting way like that, as they hear dh swear).

From my experience, kids get really defensive when they get kicked out. They feel like it's a personal attack.
It wasn't nice of your son to kick him from the game, it wasn't nice of him to swear. It happens.

It was horrible language to use but I can see why he was hurt and upset at being kicked off the game. I think you should encourage your ds to think about how his actions have made the other boy feel and get him to realise why the other boy called him names.

Just tell your son to unfriend him online.

None of mine were playing online with others at 9/10 for this very reason.

The main issue here is that your 9 year old is linking up on-line with someone he doesn't know.
Let's hope that someone who is actually 10 using offensive language is the worst that happens.

@BackforGood

The main issue here is that your 9 year old is linking up on-line with someone he doesn't know. Let's hope that someone who is actually 10 using offensive language is the worst that happens.

It's his friend from school. His mum is my friend.

@Haggisfish3

I would but don’t be surprised if mum is defensive. They pick it up from home (my dc will swear occasionally but not in an insulting way like that, as they hear dh swear).

His parents are religious and very anti swearing. It's more likely he picked it up from school or maybe his secondary age brother.

@ballsdeep

From my experience, kids get really defensive when they get kicked out. They feel like it's a personal attack. It wasn't nice of your son to kick him from the game, it wasn't nice of him to swear. It happens.

My DS kicked him from the game because he wasn't doing anything and was holding everyone else up. He did warn him first.

If he'd been at my house, I'd have asked him not to use language like that in our house but not told his mum. So my gut's telling me not to say anything.

No, don’t tell his mum. It’s not great but kids swear, they think they’re big, they grow out of it. They’ll be swearing at school in the playground, it’ll get worse before it gets better. It wasn’t your child swearing so just pretend you didn’t hear it.

9 is too young for online gaming

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

If he'd been at my house, I'd have asked him not to use language like that in our house but not told his mum. So my gut's telling me not to say anything.

He is at your house. You can prevent that. Stop the online gaming.

It sounds like he might have been struggling with the game or something when he got kicked off - he was obviously trying to participate if he was there to swear in anger about it.

Obvs he shouldn't have sworn, but I wonder if there was maybe something more going on re the kicking off the game bit (e.g. he wasn't keeping up or wasn't playing good the other's standard).