Dealing with sadness around not having a daughter

[B0YS]

I’ll start by saying I love my sons but after the birth of DS3 I still can’t get over the sadness. He’s now 4 months, I found out when I was 17 weeks pregnant, so it’s been a year of feeling this sadness & guilt. Love him to bits!

When I had DS2 I didn’t feel like this at all & I wasn’t planning to have more than two children anyway. I don’t know why it’s hitting me so hard, could it be a form of PND even though I feel I don’t have pnd?

My cousin had a girl last weekend & she’s chose my girls name (she didn’t know, not that it matters) but it’s ‘triggered’ me again. It’s not like I can escape girl babies!

This isn’t AIBU so no comments about how I’m pathetic etc, curious to see if anyone else has felt like this & how it was helped. Time may be the only answer, I hope it goes anyway anyway as I feel so guilty - aware people with infertility will have it much worse.

I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. No advice really, but bumping for you and wondering if some of your wistfulness is around this being your final baby? No matter how much sense that makes it's easy to think of what else might have been?
Take care OP and be kind to yourself

I would say it is a type of PND but also a type of sadness that you had a dream that you can't/ will probably not fulfil.
I felt the same when I realised I wouldn't have a 3rd baby.
I hesitate to sound offensive by using the word grief as, of course, there are people truly grieving but it is like that (a bit).

If it helps I have a DS and a DD(15) - good grief teen girls are hard work!

I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. No advice really, but bumping for you and wondering if some of your wistfulness is around this being your final baby? No matter how much sense that makes it's easy to think of what else might have been?
Take care OP and be kind to yourself

Maybe it’s because it’s my last amplified, I enjoy pregnancy as it’s a special time for me. I’m very lucky I’ve had no issues in that regard. I don’t know if I would feel ‘done’ if I had a DD not DS3 but I assume I would, which would be helpful! But maybe I wouldn’t.. it’s very confusing & conflicting

The thing is, if you had had a girl you don't know anything about the personality she would have had. I think it's all linked to it being your last pregnancy.