I was a 19 year old trainee teacher working with 4 and 5 year olds in my first public facing job role. I was given the responsibility of the Reception class Christmas play, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, at the first school I was placed at. It was a school where parents usuallu had to provide their own costumes for plays but where there was a real mix of middle class families and those literally on the breadline.
I decided to keep costs down as much as possible and incorporated school uniform (they had to have black leggings or joggers and a black long sleeved leotard or
tshirt for gym anyway). I asked them,
a month in advance, to send the kids in with a pair of reindeer antlers for the play. I said they could be bought in Asda for 99p.
Every Friday in November I had to deal with a parent, either Mum or Dad, of one particular child, Sinead, telling me they wouldn't be buying her the antlers and to demand the other parent "bought something for a change". They were getting divorced and using 5 year old Sinead as a pawn. They'd do this weekly performance in front of Sinead, and all the other parents and children. Being 19, I wasn't great at handling it.
The day of the "dress rehearsal" both parents were in a stand off at opposite corners of the room and getting me to run back and forward telling the other one to buy the damn antlers. Oh and now Sinead's leggings for the play had a hole in the crotch. Could I tell Mum to fork out "for once in her life"? "Tell him, when is the last time he bought his daughter food? He can f*ck off if he thinks he's getting me to clothe her all the time."
You get the picture.
Day of the play arrives. I'm wearing antlers as I'm going to be onstage to help ensure none of the kids fall off it/forget their lines/nervous wee on the stage. I decided to buy a spare pair in case some got broken. Or...in case Sinead's parents are still in antler stand off.
Sinead's parents are still in antler stand off. And legging stand off.
Sinead is in tears.
She's arrived at the last possible minute with her cousin, who is in the same class. Niamh. She's been at Niamh's house before school, watching Niamh get ready.
Niamh is not wearing 99p Asda Reindeer Antlers either. Niamh is wearing big ass blinged out, light up, furry, flashing, jangling, can play jingle bells antlers. So are a couple of other kids. Sinead is also in a fancy brown leotard and dance tights, with a white furry circle pinned to her chest and a cute little white furry bobtail pinned to her bum, and brown furry bootcovers. And professional reindeer makeup. "I'm a professional face painter", coos Niamh's Mum who is, coincidentally, Sinead's Auntie, but she didn't bother to include her 5 year old niece in the face painting.
Sinead is still in her school uniform. Carrying a plastic bag with no costume in, just some pop and crisps. Sobbing big fat hicuppy tears. Sinead's Auntie does F all except tell her to be a big girl and stop being silly and berates her for not "reminding mummy and daddy about the costume".
I console Sinead, find her some thick
wooly tights out of the lost property and give her my own black tshirt to wear (which is more like a dress on her). Tie some tinsel round like a belt and give her my spare pair of antlers. Happy Days. Niamh's mum watches on, I think at the time in awe of my Mary Poppins like quick thinking and last minute problem solving skills.
Then Rudolph's antlers break. Bloody Rudolph, the star of the show. Now he's sobbing huge tears and says he can't go on without his antlers. I whip the ones off my head and give them to him the second before they all need to go on as the Year 5 and 6 Band have just finished playing Jingle Bells.
The show goes on. Resounding success. All the parents are thrilled.
Except now there is an aggressive, huge, red faced man, double my age, charging towards me and he starts screaming in my face and getting close, waving his hand in my face and pointing at me.
He accuses me of a "money making scam". He screams at me about "one rule for one and another for another". He says I'm "playing favourites". Questions me as to who I think I am, what gives me the right or AUDACITY to FORCE some parents to FORK OUT A FORTUNE on a costume (just to reiterate 99p reindeer antlers from Asda) whilst I am MERRILY providing it for FREE to others if it "takes my fancy". He accuses me of DAYLIGHT ROBBERY and says he wants everyone to know about the MONEY MAKING SCAM I am running and notifies me he is PULLING HIS DAUGHTER OUT OF THIS SCHOOL AND EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHY. He says I am TAKING BACKHANDERS IN EXCHANGE FOR FAVOURS.
I am backed against a wall with this man towering over me. He's ruined the first "success" of my beginning teaching career. I can't understand what I've done wrong or why he's so angry. I only finished my A-Levels 6 months prior to this.
I burst out crying. He told me DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD BE CRYING. YOU SHOULD BE F*ING ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. TAKING BACKHANDERS. THEY ARE FIVE YEAR OLDS FFS.
This man, who was so incensed that he had to pay 99p for some antlers, was Niamh's (pimped up flashing singing antlers, special furry costume, professionally painted face) Dad.
He was also Sinead's (no antlers, no gym kit, no costume) Uncle.
His wife, Sinead's Auntie/Niamh's Mum, had watched me help her inconsolable niece who neither she nor the child's parents gave a shit about, saw me give my own antlers to the kid playing Rudolph after his broke and had spent the entire Christmas play slagging me off and telling her arrogant hooligan of a husband that I was providing costume for some kids and not for others. And that I must be receiving "backhanders".
Crazy family. I very nearly didn't return after Christmas for the remainder of my placement.
All because I tried to make things better for a kid who was having a shitty time.