Funeral/Memorial Service etiquette

[DuckyMcDuck]

If you attend a service for someone who was very religious but you are not, what is the etiquette re speaking the responses to the Mass and prayers?

Part of me thinks it's hypocritical to say the words if you are not a believer but on the others hand, is it disrespectful not to as it was important to the person you are there for.

Or am I overthinking it totally and it doesn't actually matter?

I think the fact you are there is the important thing. A lot of people these days don't know any of the hymns sung in church services and you can't take mass/communion unless you are confirmed.

I tend to just lower my head during prayers but say nothing. At my dad's funeral, the Rev who led it said those who want to can say the prayer with him, and those who are not religious can just quietly think about my dad, which I thought was a lovely balance. Do what you are comfortable with, no one will be looking anyway.

I think you are over thinking this but I understand why, as I have been in the same position. The mourners will be pleased you are there, just sit and stand at the same time as everyone else and you'll be fine

At my mums funeral I was in no real state to do much - wobbly.
At her memorial I belted out the hymns kept my eyes open and caught my siblings’ eyes during the prayers but I’d do some of the responses (I knew from being in a choir as a kid) kind of as a very personal moment of connection to her - I am 100% atheist, she was quietly religious in later years.
At friends’ funerals ive just sung the hymns. Eyes open during prayers. Thinking of them.

Meant to add do what feels right for you. As long as you’re not upsetting anyone you’ll be fine just being quiet or joining in.