I love my DP dearly. He’s the most amazing man and I feel lucky everyday to have met him. I knew he was on the spectrum early on, guess I didn’t think much of it, all his habits and so on I just totally get and love. Some things have been challenging and I guess I just want a steer on whether this is the spectrum or is it something else?
He likes to have time to think and will express it in that way.. I need to think. This can mean staring into space for minutes at a time when we are mid discussion about something that really needs a yes or no response. When busy or needing to know something quickly, this is really frustrating and early on I often wondered if he was doing it intentionally to wind me up 
He takes forever to confirm a plan, which used to make me wonder if he was even bothered about me. Every time he would eventually confirm and we’d have a great time, but it would take maybe 2 days for him to have a think and confirm. This could be something simple like shall we nip to Sainsbury’s for sandwiches before we leave, for example.
He’s reserved with emotions. He’s said some lovely things to me but he seems very careful about what he says. Everything seems carefully thought out, he’s not flippant with affection in that way. He rarely says he misses me unless I say it first.
The other day I was cooking at his and noticed the fish he wanted me to cook was out of date by a long long time. I told him and said shall I go out for some more, he seemed alarmed by this, said he had ruined the night by not making sure the salmon was in date. He said he was ok to eat it anyway but he knew I wouldn’t be. I checked the fridge and there was leftover chicken, said I didn’t want to risk the fish so I would cook that for him and the chicken for me. He eventually accepted that but intermittently and even in the week that followed he mentioned it and apologised for making a disruption to what I had planned to eat with him?!
We don’t tend to argue at all but the times we have done he will often shut down and not say a world but just look totally confused. I will ask him something and I’m just met with silence.
He said the other day he takes things literally and while he does get a joke, I need to remember he takes things at face value. This came out of nowhere really, though I can be very sarcastic sometimes which I’ve toned down with him.
Has anyone else experienced this and I am right to attribute it to being on the spectrum? I went to do my absolute best by him and us and went to understand as best I can.