Is my working life going to affect bond with DC?

[working99]

NC'd for this.

A bit of background: I have a 2 and 4 year old. The 4 year old goes to nursery 9-5, Monday to Friday, the 2 year old is at home. My husband is unable to work for valid reasons, so he's the stay at home parent. I can't find/ currently get a job above minimum wage, which has led me to have two jobs, as we can't afford to live on one full time minimum wage job. I work about 52 hours on average a week, I only get Thursdays off and some of my shifts are 9-5 in one job, and then 5:30-10:30 in my other job, so I literally don't see the DC all day some days. I feel like utter shit, but I do this to provide for them. Are they going to be distant for me? I wanted to be a SAHM but life didn't work like that for me. This is absolutely NOT a thread about working mothers having bonding issues or anything like that, but in my personal case, I sometimes don't see my children for full days at a time. Will this damage our bond/relationship long term? I'm so worried they will stop wanting me to soothe them etc

My situation was slightly different but I went from part time with DH working full time to full time and long hours when DS was nearly 3 and dh reduced hours eventually becoming a sahd

It actually worked really well for us. Neither of us became the “main” disciplinarian parent with the other being the fun weekend one (which I’ve seen in some set ups). We tend to share equally. DS (now 7) still tends to want me when he’s very tired, upset or ill but is happy with his dad if I’m not around. I don’t think it’ll impact your long term relationship

Have you looked into universal credit top ups?

I think as long as you have quality time with the DC as much as poss you will be fine. Like you say someone has to provide for them. I would say though DH really has to make sure he is on top of discipline and not leave you to be "bad cop" when you're home (just my experience as a child with a parent that worked a lot and was always on our backs when at home, us kids resented him for that and preferred it when he was at work)