How do you set up a crowdfunder for someone you've never met *trigger warning for child neglect and death*

[Swannlake]

I have just read this absolutely shocking story about a little baby in America who starved to death, strapped into a car seat, because his mum died of an overdose. I'm absolutely heartbroken, especially because his sister, who was 3 at the time, was found alive, and it seemed as though she'd been trying to feed the poor little baby. I can't imagine how traumatic this has been for her and I feel quite moved to set up a fundraiser for her future, going forward (I have looked and can't see one already). Does anybody have any experience of setting one up? Thank you

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9685829/Toddler-died-starvation-car-seat-mom-fatally-overdosed.html

To be fair, "Snookie" called me "crazy" in 2 separate posts, the second post was just a nastier rehash of the first and entirely unecessary, and aslo accused me of virtue signalling. I actually think that's pretty rude?

I take the points people have made about doing something closer to home but I really think some people should back off a bit. I don't want to become famous or something. I just wanted to help the sister as it was such a shocking thing to happen. I know awful stuff happens all the time but this case must surely be up there amongst especially awful tragedies otherwise why would it have made the news headlines in a different continent to where it actually happened.

Also having worked with charities for a long time now I am increasingly cynical about how their funds are mis/managed (Kids Company being one example) and thought that a crowdfunder would "cut out the middle man" and go to the person I felt sorry for, ie the sister.

I don't think your motivation is at ALL to do with recognition, and I recognise the impulse to help when you've seen something horrendous. That's why every other advert shows sad donkeys and caged tigers etc - it helps part people from their money.

The kinder people are just suggesting that it's probably going to be difficult to directly help this little girl, and in fact you've no idea what she may need. So they're suggesting you redirect your feelings of helplessness to something more manageable and impactful locally.

No need for the unkindness at all.

Posted too soon - thing is, you've no idea about the family circumstances. The girl's wider family may have no need of financial support, or if there are addiction issues throughout the family it could be unwise to send them a shedload of money.

How terribly sad, I think it would be difficult to do but of course it's possible, maybe you could find out which agency is caring for the child, not sure why people are being so rude.

I couldn't bring myself to read the article, it would affect me way too much. Your empathy is recognizable, I know that impulse when you feel you have to do something for this poor child or it won't let you go. It's sad that you have to justify this perfectly natural reaction against cynical accusations. Try not to take it to heart.

maybe you could find out which agency is caring for the child, I sincerely hope not. The child’s details, care, needs, personal life should remain confidential, and certainly not be available to all and sundry who fancy a go at a bit of fundraising or worse, who just want to nosy around the life of an innocent child.

Hopefully this child will now be able to fade into obscurity and a life away from people who want to pry.

I’ve had strangers offer to set up crowd funders for me and turned them down as I didn’t need the thing they wanted to fundraise for and they had caught a glimpse of me and made assumptions. It was completely inappropriate and upsetting. And as a benefit claimant it would have impacted my finances negatively

OP, I’m sure you come from a well meaning place but I’d channel that into something local, not crowd funding for a stranger where you could make things worse

(And because someone will probably ask I am a wheelchair user, the offer was from the landlord of a pub I went to fundraise for me to get an electric wheelchair because they thought it would be better for me. I’d been there twice)

You sound like you're coming from the right place but it's really not practicable. Perhaps focus on something closer to home.

Although this is such a tragic story it isn’t all that unusual - so many similar cases of child abuse and neglect happen every single day. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be horrified by them and want to do something but instead of this particular family I would donate or fundraise for your own local children’s charities.

@Swannlake

Also having worked with charities for a long time now I am increasingly cynical about how their funds are mis/managed (Kids Company being one example) and thought that a crowdfunder would "cut out the middle man" and go to the person I felt sorry for, ie the sister.

How would you get it to the sister? Unless you have personal connection you cannot

Go for intermediary like 52 lives in uk

Before you rush headlong into fundraising for this, read the story of Katie Cutler and Alan Baines. She raised £330,000 for a victim of a mugging, but ended being in debt for thousands herself.
A warning against letting your heart rule your head, where heart rending stories are involved.

Helping this family would be even more complex, involving international money exchanges, agencies that you have no links with, and future implications that you could only guess at and certainly not control.

@AdaColeman

Before you rush headlong into fundraising for this, read the story of Katie Cutler and Alan Baines. She raised £330,000 for a victim of a mugging, but ended being in debt for thousands herself. A warning against letting your heart rule your head, where heart rending stories are involved.

Helping this family would be even more complex, involving international money exchanges, agencies that you have no links with, and future implications that you could only guess at and certainly not control.

Thanks I will check this out!

Just as am aside, Kids Company funds were found not to have been mismanaged.

OP if you want to donate some money to this child, then contact the police on the state where the child lives. I’m sorry to say that it appears you want other people to donate money for you to then donate to this child. If I saw a crowdfunding page like this I would not donate.