Help! Birthday party advice

[missymoomoomoomoomoo]

I am trying to organise a birthday party for my soon to be DS9. Its the first birthday party he has had since he was 4 as he had trouble making friends at school owing to (now diagnosed) autism and then covid.

I am hoping to book a party where basically everything is done from entertainment, venue and food, so that's not a worry.

However I am totally freaking out that no one will RSVP. Also it is a very much drop off event and I dont know how people feel during Covid about that? Have birthday parties been happening recently? I wouldn't know as my DS doesn't get invited to many anyway.

Also! I can only have up to 15 kids and what is the etiquette for handing out invites to only half the class effectively? Is this OK? How do you hand out invites? Last birthday I just invited the whole preschool class

Aaaarrrggghhh. He came home and blindsided me with "I would like a birthday party please"

Bump

Can you invite all the parents of the kids you are inviting to a group in a WhatsApp group and then do a digital invite. Our schools rule is only invites at school if all school year invited or all boys or all girls otherwise not allowed so otherwise people do the WhatsApp group. We are having a nerf party for our son and not expecting any parents to stay apart from one who is my friend as she is helping parents haven’t stayed for years.

Oh and choose an activity that is likely to really appeal to those invites and also think about the time. For example we have turned down loads of party invites that are like 5pm as it ruins our whole day. We like the 11-1 slot as no early morning but time to do something else in the afternoon.

People willl know it's a drop off if it's at a place like bowling.

Or you can put it in the wording of the invite.
Party drop off at three and pick up at five.

Put a date to RSVP on the invite.

Put a mobile number on so people will text. Then text back 'that's great, John will be so pleased' or something.

At the party say 'I've got your mobile number if there is a problem bum I'm sure there won't be,

Don't invite more than half the class for etiquette reasons and don't invite all the boys for example and not two,

Try to give the invitations out discreetly on one day before and after school.

I've had two invites recently, think they're starting up again. Both plan to be outside, and one is at a house, the other at a playground. One mum said it was going to be a 'Covid safe party' although with 30 kids knocking about together all day I'm not bothered about this really.

Do you worry they wouldn't RSVP because of covid fears or something else?

If you have something like a class WhatsApp group (or parents' email addresses?) I would invite that way rather than giving out paper invites which are more likely to be lost or ignored. As pp said, however you do it, make sure you put an RSVP date and then you can chase up after this date for any replies. I think by that age most parents would expect to just drop off but if it's somewhere like ice skating/ bowling alley/ leisure centre, if any stay I'm sure they'd be happy just to grab a drink if there's a cafe. I don't think there'd be any expectation that you'd feed or entertain them.

Its an outside thing so that makes it better. I think the activities appeal across the board and DS wants to invite a broad mix of boys/girls. He doesnt have a friendship group as such. He struggles to understand social stuff.

I literally talk to no parents in his class so no chance of a WhatsApp group I'm afraid. I think this is my biggest fear. What if no one RSVPs and how to cope with DS disappointment?

I dont even know how I would hand out invites before or after class. I dont know who the parents are!

I would speak to the class teacher about invited we normally hand to her and she discreetly puts in the right book bags. Not all schools ban this. She will likely understand the issues he faces and want to help or at least guide how you can best do this. Think it all the national book days you’ve supported at the school - they owe you 😃

I'll speak to his teacher and his TA thank you. Hopefully they can help thank you

@OneYeminRoad

People willl know it's a drop off if it's at a place like bowling.

Or you can put it in the wording of the invite.
Party drop off at three and pick up at five.

Put a date to RSVP on the invite.

Put a mobile number on so people will text. Then text back 'that's great, John will be so pleased' or something.

At the party say 'I've got your mobile number if there is a problem bum I'm sure there won't be,

Don't invite more than half the class for etiquette reasons and don't invite all the boys for example and not two,

Try to give the invitations out discreetly on one day before and after school.

Not an issue for me yet as my child hasn’t started school yet but just to say- love all this advice, this needs to be in a handbook given out to parents when their kids start reception

Good luck with speaking to his teacher.
I’m sure he will have a lovely party. I was always worried that no one would be able to come - I think that’s pretty normal!! Organising parties is stressful. All the best

@Rainbowqueeen there does need to be a handbook!!

The party is at 10am so think I have done good on timings

^At the party say 'I've got your mobile number if there is a problem bum I'm sure there won't be,^

This reminds me of the Friends episodes where they pretend Joey is a regular bum who roams the corridors

Yes, don't mention bums in your casual breezy reply!

"I literally talk to no parents in his class so no chance of a WhatsApp group I'm afraid. I think this is my biggest fear. What if no one RSVPs and how to cope with DS disappointment?"

OP you sound so lovely and have thought of lots for this party.
To be blunt, there aren't many kids out there who would turn down the chance for a birthday party especially if it's an interesting, entertaining event (unlike mine where I just get them running round a village hall and play pass the parcel )
Please don't worry about something that hasn't happened yet. My husband has anxiety and this is exactly what he's like.
Just be positive, get the invites out and work with what you get back.

Fyi in my school the kids take the invites in and hand them round/put them in bags throughout the day.

I hope it goes really well for you and your son. Have fun!

Week, well party confirmed now, so invites all ready to go (apart from a few where I am fairly certain DS made up the spelling of their names so need to check with teacher). Wish us luck!

Eeek, not week!

Wishing you lots of luck. Hope the teacher or TA is able to help with giving out the invitations and you get the RSVPs (make sure you've put a date!) And hope it all goes well for your DS.

I'm getting RSVPs already! How do you word a reply? For the love of God, I'm not sure what to say

Brilliant that you are getting responses OP, I totally understand how nervewracking it is wondering if kids will come! Just reply "Hi, thanks for letting me know, glad X can come,
Y is really looking forward to it" .. then drop off/ pick up instructions if needed

"Great, thanks for letting me know. Look forward to seeing X then x"

Thank you! If someone had said to me that kids birthday parties were so fraught, I wouldn't have believed them. Really appreciate the advice