I’m a carer to our Asd late teen, dh works full time and I worked part time when our child was at school.
Ive never had a big social life, I find I can do short burst of interaction with people in passing but longer episodes do exhaust me and to be honest I suspect I am also on the spectrum, even so I did feel less lonely when I got to interact with people when I worked outside the home.
Much like other parents I imagine, I did fantasise about being at home when our child was at school because it was so very hard trying to juggle work and the inevitable calls from the school (providing I actually got dc to school in the first place) to come and collect a struggling adolescent with a severe social anxiety, and the afternoon would be filled with all of the things that caused dc stress during the day and all of the things likely to cause stress tomorrow. There was so little down time for my brain.
When COVID arrived and we were asked to stay home as much as possible, we did just that. With the result that our child will no longer leave the house at all. In fact dc is the happiest they have ever been, there are no demands on their life at all, and all I feel is guilt because I don’t push harder to try and encourage some outside time.
I’ve read back over my post and I realise it might sound like I resent my child, I just want to make it clear that I don’t resent dc at all. In fact I absolutely adore my funny, very insightful and caring child. I just feel sad that my dc will always need a strong scaffold around and as I watch my other dc go to work, form romantic relationships, take driving lessons, all the things you hope for your child, I wonder what the future will hold?