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DP’s online profile, should I be concerned?

8 replies

Whatnowsgo · 15/06/2021 10:26

Me and DP (if that’s the right expression!) became exclusive in feb. Recently I saw on his phone that he had a dating app, the one we met on. I saw this while he was on his phone in general, in passing. I asked him about it, he said that he didn’t use it and he had gone off it.

I checked his phone minutes after this conversation so he had no time to change anything on the app. He doesn’t give me cause not to trust him but I wanted to check. Yes, I know I shouldn’t etc etc.

On the app there were no current matches and no conversations. It was empty. His profile was described, but with a click could be removed activated ie it wasn’t fully deleted from his phone.

I just don’t know how I feel about it? He’s quite a sincere person, he also has no time at all, he’s always in touch and wants to see me. I have no reason to doubt him and obviously based on the app he’s clearly not swiping and matching and nor is he having conversations. But it’s not actually deleted is it? I don’t know. He’s not really a technology sort of person so I can imagine him just not using it and leaving the app on there. Which I guess is it is what is going on as it wasn’t in use at all.

But I don’t want to be one of those women who can’t see the wood for the trees because they love someone. I’m not an idiot and think I can be a good judge of character, but where love is concerned you can never be sure can you!

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Whatnowsgo · 15/06/2021 10:27

* that should say his profile was removed, but could be re activated with a click (ie it was hidden from searches).

OP posts:
LadyCatStark · 15/06/2021 10:34

I have loads of apps on my phone that o don’t use. Not dating ones to be fair as I’ve been married for longer than apps have existed 😂 but I don’t think there’s anything to worry about here… except for the fact that you’re already checking his phone after a few months, that is not OK!

FinallyHere · 15/06/2021 10:41

This wouldn't worry me, but then I am thinking of DH who doesn't even click to read an email unless he is sure it's going to be interesting...

More importantly how is he day to day? Longer term ?

If he is a decent person and this app is the only concern, I wouldn't give it another thought. If however, your spidery senses are already tingling and this is just one more straw in the window then ...

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CommunistLegoBloc · 15/06/2021 10:45

Option A:

It's innocent, but you don't trust him and you checked his phone. That could be down to your paranoia, or the fact he's not quite trustworthy.

Option B:

He's using the app.

Either way, there's a problem.

Vikingintraining · 15/06/2021 10:47

You have no reason to doubt him (your words) yet you still decided to check his phone? You have a problem with trust. Based on what you have said he hasn't done anything wrong so have a think about why you wanted to check. Have you had a previous bad experience?

Suprima · 15/06/2021 10:49

If he hadn’t used it since you met, wouldn’t your convos and old matches be on there?

It would just be weird to wipe all of that but not delete the app

Whatnowsgo · 15/06/2021 10:55

@Suprima I did think that, yes. But I literally checked it within minutes of the conversation and he hadn’t been with his phone alone in that time. He couldn’t have deleted it in that time so he obviously deleted it previously. I think when he ‘went off it’ his version of that was clearing the whole thing and not using it again. Just don’t get why he wouldn’t delete it entirely.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 15/06/2021 10:58

There was nothing on it, so that matches with what he's saying.

I don't delete apps because it ruins the way my homescreen looks haha. If he's a weirdo like me, that could be the same, even if he doesn't use it!

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