Driving Test!!!!

[JodieElizabeth9823]

Hi everyone I’m not actually a mum I’m a daughter, hope no one minds. I find mums have better understanding and are more comforting where as people my own age are quite rude and harsh and I know sometimes you need to hear it but sometimes you just need comforting.
So yesterday I failed my 5th driving test and as you can imagine I was naturally devastated. I never get many faults I always get serious and dangerous but 1/2 minors!!! 1 test I almost passed was 8 minors and in the last 5 mins I got a serious the guy was super nice and apologised and said I’m sorry I can’t ignore that. Everyone expects me to pass every single test I do!! I’m lying if I say I’m a bad driver because honestly I’m not! My hour before my test is fine my manoeuvres are perfect (except parking) I get super heartbroken every time I fail to do the job I want I NEED to drive I really want to give up my problem is I’ve probably spent £2500 on learning to drive!! In the first 3 tests I was a nervous wreck every test I seem to be abit more confident and drive smoother but how much longer can a girl keep going!! Yesterday admittedly I felt badly done to like of course he’s just doing his job but the serious faults I got had reasons behind them there’s no point me arguing them. I feel like I’ll never pass but can’t give up but don’t want to keep putting myself through it my mum is a massive pain for nagging about my test and goes out of her way to find out when it is I feel mean of course I love my mum and she’s just exited but I try to keep my tests as private as possible!! My friends and colleagues also nag and ask constantly when I say no I don’t have one booked it’s always well book one etc which I don’t know where to go with that! I’ve taken kalms cbd (okay weird one) crystals hypnosis!! I just feel so defeated and don’t know what to do!! Any advice??? Apologies for the long post that doesn’t make any sense ☺️

What kind of serious things are you failing on? Is it the same each time and something you can work on? Or different things due to nerves?

Something that worked for a friend of mine was to take her test at a different test centre, as if she got an examiner that had previously failed her then she had no chance from the beginning as she got it into her head she would fail. Also not doing routes where she had previously failed helped. It was like a fresh start for her.

I’ll be totally honest three times I’ve failed because I’ve gotten too close to other cars however my instructor found the 4th examiner unreasonable however I said let’s not argue the case it’s not going to get me a pass! I am quite nervous naturally a nervous person and with covid you’re no longer allowed to take your instructor which was a massive comfort to me! My friends said the same however I don’t know the test routes and roads for the other test centre otherwise I would try there I’ve considered doing a week intensive course too just because I know I can drive. Yesterday’s test there was a lorry coming towards me hence why I moved the car in! My mum suggested in the situation of cars being parked to drive in the middle of the road as they cant fail you? I don’t know how true it is

What was the serious failure yesterday?

I was too close to parked cars and he had to take action (moving the wheel) however there was a lorry coming towards me at crossroads so I didn’t wanna be in the middle of the road I also failed my 4th test for being to close and also my 1st so there’s definitely a pattern

Please don't get despondent, you will pass! Although I'm many years older than you I remember a girl I was at college with fail 9 tests. She came back in tears every time but she was so determined to pass she would book another one straight away.
Once I passed my life changed, I could apply for jobs outside my little town, I got a job abroad which involved driving and I got to see many new places I wouldn't have otherwise seen.
Don't beat yourself up about it, you know you can drive, just book the next test and don't tell anyone. You will pass!

Have you tried positive visualisation? Basically just run the scenarios through your head where you perform everything brilliantly and pass, narrate this to yourself.

Some people find narrating out loud while driving helps and this can also help the tester understand your thinking. For example, when you moved in because of the lorry, they could assume it was because you are nervous or can't judge the space, if you had narrated "there is a large lorry coming, I can see we both have space but as I have plenty of room, I'm going to move a little to the left to give him more space ". I'm not saying it would have made a difference, but the perception of why you did it changes.

I think the only thing keeping me going is my job I want!! And the fact 2 of my friends that passed are in double figures when it comes to tests! I think the worse part is the heartbreak that comes at the end of the test I always come back in tears! Thank you so much for your kindness ☺️☺️

Ah yes! I’ve tried manifestation and something seems to be blocking me (sorry to anyone that doesn’t believe in it) I do find it easier to chat about what I’m doing when I’m driving however feel uncomfortable on the test I know you don’t have to be in silence but I think I’m so nervous all I can say is”yes” when they’re asking me to do something I may try that in the future

I'm honestly the furthest you can get from being touchy/feely and in touch with my mental state, but I find the positive visualisation helps with interviews and I've been very successful with those. Maybe start modelling scenarios around things where you've had an issue where you almost make the error but stop yourself, this might show you that making a mistake is not inevitable?

You could say to the tester that you find it helps to narrate and that's what you are going to do, sets the scene and might make you feel less awkward?

I’ll definitely have to give it a try I’m a big atmosphere kind of person too if the atmosphere is uncomfortable and almost awkward I get very uptight and uncomfortable so this might actually help loosen the atmosphere for me! Thank you so much

Good luck for the next one, it is so expensive. My boys were lucky that we paid it for them. We said we'd only pay for 2 tests so they both passed on the 2nd one!

10 tests here. My nerves just fucked me over every time. I stalled constantly. Kept forgetting to go into first at junctions. Hadn't stalled the car in months and then did it 4 times in one test. This led to me learning to pull away in 3rd gear because I was so worried about stalling it again!

I had the radio on in the end and just ignored the examiner completely. My instructor didn't come with me, he just said I didn't need him and he'd wait at the centre. I passed.

Don't tell anyone you've got a test until afterwards. And tell your family and friends to shut up about it.

So three out of five tests you've failed for being too close to cars on the left? I would have thought that was a reasonably easy thing to fix - a mix of road positioning and confidence not to panic if eg a lorry is coming towards you (if the car is too narrow because of parked cars, the lorry should not be coming anyway and should wait for you and if it doesn't then you stop and wait for it).

It's difficult at the moment to find both instructors and test slots so sadly it will probably be another six months or so unless you can get a cancellation. I wonder if it would make sense to find a different instructor to concentrate on the road positioning issue and then do the test at a different centre.

Also, ultimately consider doing the test on an automatic. The future is hybrid/electric, so it won't hold you back. My son passed on a manual but is now driving my hybrid and he was stunned at how easy it is to drive.

Also, is it worth investing in some hypnotherapy if you are nervous?

Good luck with it all.

if the car is too narrow because of parked cars, the lorry should not be coming anyway and should wait for you and if it doesn't then you stop and wait for it

assuming cars on both sides, obviously if only on yours, you wait

Not sure how driving an automatic would help given OP has given no indication that control of a manual has been an issue in her fails?

The moving too close to parked cars sounds like a lack of confidence in taking your position in the road. Have refresher lesson with your instructor on this. And consider taking a couple of refresher lessons in a different test area to learn the routes.

Oh gosh I think my nerves play a huge part I go to pot when I’m next to an examiner!!! I think my nerves are slowly but surely getting under control I don’t shake anymore and I can drive smoothly on a test now but I overhear and feel sick still!

Yeah looking through everyone’s comments and thinking back I think it could be down to confidence at one point my instructor used to have to remind me when it’s my right of way and to not let other drivers “bully” me

I’m going to work with my instructor I’ve re looked my past tests written down my fails and issues and going to ask to work on this and some confidence may try hypnotherapy also ☺️

Well I am hugely impressed at your tenacity and willingness to stick at this and also then go out and try to problem solve even though you feel demoralised. That's to be proud of!

It could be that what makes you a great driver isn't helping you on your test if you see what I mean (being cautious becomes over nervous when tested). My sister in law failed five times and switched to an automatic and said it made all the difference in the world and she passed first time she took an automatic test. She also did loads of hypnosis which apparently helped. I drove her car and it's like driving a bumper car when you're used to a manual! Honestly I'd really recommend it. It could be a game changer for you.

Aww thank you so much!! My mum and I read through the comments and went for a drive and spoke to my friends we’ve decided it’s best we try another test centre we’re we live we also looked at the statistics of both test centres and 40.8% pass where I’ve taken my last 5 tests and 43.6 at the other one also 12% more girls seem to fail at my current one than boys so I think I’ll learn the new routes gain some confidence and work on this reoccurring issue!! Thank you so much for your kind words ☺️

You are very positive about trying again and that's great. I wish you the best of luck.

I didn't pass mine until my 4th attempt so i feel your pain OP.

I was watching an old episode of The World's Most Dangerous Roads a couple of days ago and apparently Ben Fogle took 7 attempts before he passed his test.

I know it's frustrating OP but really it's better to be safe. The roads are there are scary, you need to be confident that you can handle them before you start driving alone. Keep perservering - you'll get there :)

I hope this isn't too late. I just read your thread. My son just passed his test yesterday (5th time!) and I wanted to let you know about a few things which have helped.

First there is an ap called testi. It costs £10 and it can find a test date for you at your chosen centre. It scans the dvla website for cancellations and new test dates and alerts you when they come up. Whilst there is massive wait times for tests, using testi my son has managed to get 4 retests since his first one in May, so one every three weeks roughly. It's worth the money but you do have to be quick off the mark when a test alert comes up to secure it for you.

Also it sound spoke you know how to drive but you might have been unlucky with some errors which you could have avoided. Bearnin mind that on the law of averages every time you take a test you are more likely to pass (providing you know how to drive the car) This thought kept my son going! His test centre had a 44% pass rate so on the fifth attempt yesterday he was sure it was his turn to pass, otherwise he would have statistically been an outlier if you see why I mean.

So my advice would be to get the testi ap. Get another date booked and just go for it. Yes you will be nervous but keep going and you will get there. Hope this helps.