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Feeling all sorts of conflicted and would really like a bit of a hand hold!

3 replies

Worriebd · 15/06/2021 10:02

Finding this quite hard with a mix of emotions. Me and DO only been together 18 months. Right at the start of dating he said he was working towards a transfer to London (we currently live in the north, think above Yorkshire way). Without being outing, for DP’s career it was always going to work out this way and he’s been working towards it his whole professional life. I was ok with this at the start and I still am in the sense that I have worked out how we could carry on and it would be ok.

But... in the last few weeks the London thing may be pospotned for another 12 months due to funding. And there’s been noises about a similar post coming up an hour from where we are. This would have limited changes to our life. He would be there for the next year...then move to London. I feel like this would give us so much more time together to become properly established. I would even consider moving to London with him further down the line.

The problem is, DP said last night that if London comes up he will take it. Even though the other opportunity closer by is a potential that may come into fruition soon and be offered to him. I haven’t said anything but I guess I hoped he would jump at the closer one so things would be easier for us. At the same time I want him to be happy and support his job wherever that is, so I try and be positive about London. I feel bad for hoping it doesn’t work out this year ...

I am lucky I work remotely. I’m just so conflicted by all this. Just wanted somewhere to vent really and talk to sensible mumsbettera who will no doubt have some encouraging advice :)

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 15/06/2021 10:07

I think he's been honest all along that London is the end goal. I would imagine he sees no reason to postpone for a more local opportunity if London is going to happen at some point anyway. I wouldn't expect him to change his plans.

He is also aware that you work remotely so can follow him if you choose to. And I think 18 months in, you should know whether or not you want to be with him, and if you want to go to London or not.

Worriebd · 15/06/2021 10:14

@LadyDanburysHat thanks. I know it was always the plan. Just kind of hoping we’d have it a bit easier for now. He’d be happy staying nearby once London confirmed no funding but they are just stringing it out!

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 15/06/2021 10:26

My advice would be not to overthink this, it might not happen, he might stay local for another year, is he happy for you to go with him if he goes sooner though?

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